Firstly: I don't want to know if I'm an idiot or stupid, I'm already aware I could've handled this better, but when you have anger issues, sometimes you snap. My anger issues are more of a slower burn with an intense outcome. One small thing won't set me off, but if multiple small things irritate me and I can't vent or get it out, I explode. I am currently working on my anger with my ES teacher and my counselor.

So, me, 17 NB was hanging out with my friend group of about 5 people. I'll call them June, Emma, B, Elias, and Isiah. We're all pretty chill with each other aside from me and Emma. We've had some really rough beef, a lot of miscommunication never being handled well, so I decided to distance myself from her and ignore her and work on myself and I can hope she does the same, and we both civilly agreed to not really associate anymore. I've tried to be civil with her since she's B's sister and me and B are really close and B says Emma has terrible social timing, but sometimes it's hard when she misrepresents things.

For example, I was pretty mad one day in BIO class, and was ready to pretty much crash out. I jokingly say to my best friend, Bella, "I think I have anger issues" Joking like that with friends makes me feel better especially about my issues. Emma butts in out of nowhere and says "OMG same twins" and I had to bite my tongue from saying "It's not a fucking quirk and it's not funny." and from what B has told me, Emma does NOT have anger issues. B says Emma just possibly has autism, which I don't want to look too much into, it's not my business. That irritated me enough with her acting like it's quirky to have an actual mental issue for me, but, I let it go.

Another time is when Emma says "I can't work because of my autism" and BEFORE people come for me, I KNOW this is a legit reason for people to get turned down. However, I ALSO know quite a bit of people that have jobs with Autism, which, in fact, are 3 other people in our friend group. So I know Emma got turned down, but I don't think it was her autism, it might've been her immaturity. And in the nicest way possible, Emma isn't ready for a job. If one small thing makes her upset, she cries. Full on breakdown. I feel like she needs to work on that before getting a job.

However, that was NOT the first time Emma has used her autism as an excuse for things. Things like "Omg I'm sorry I forgot, my autism" or "Sorry I'm being autistic again" and it's annoying to hear it over and over again as if she thinks it's quirky. Even June and B find it annoying, and June does in fact, have autism. Emma has this habit of just- making everything about her. We'll be talking about something, like June having a bad day, and Emma will jump in, saying "Oh my day was shit too, this happened to me today-" and other times even in class she'll try to be the center of attention. Then there was the whole time Emma said she was gonna punch the shit out of me for calling her a grape because she was wearing a grape hoodie which also pissed me off a bit. Time and time again I've done my best to ignore her but sometimes things she says really pisses me off. I can give a lot more examples of Emma being like this, but the post is getting long enough.

Yesterday is when I went off. Emma was talking about her grandfather. I've met him and he's a sweet old man, who, also, in fact, has autism. He also doesn't pick up on social cues and body language. At this point, it's worth mentioning I'm an SA survivor, which I've shared with the friend group. Every night from when I was 2 up until 4 my dad did things. Things I'm still not healed from. Emma started talking about how she doesn't like how her grandfather pats her shoulder and head like a little girl and she thinks she's being SA'd or her grandfather might be waiting until she's 18. I bit my tongue but after I heard Emma said "No, I'm not gonna talk to him, it's embarrassing" I said "Emma shut the fuck up. If you aren't willing to talk with your grandfather about boundaries then he's not gonna stop making you uncomfortable, and patting your damn head isn't Sexual assault." I felt incredibly offended. Everyone went silent and I realized I had to leave before I said anything else. Later, June called me and calmed me down. I told June I fucking hate when people do things like that, like scream "RAPE" and false accusations or some shit and it fucking irritates me. It mocks survivors and people who are actually victims of Rape and SA and I had to walk off. June stayed on the phone with me so I could vent and scream and get it all out.

I feel like Emma needs a reality check and to grow up as we're seniors next year, and I try to ignore her but I see her every day in nearly half of my classes, and she still acts like we're friends.

AITA for what I said?