I’ve wanted this specific perfume ever since I tried a tester. Every time we go to a duty-free shop or Sephora, I apply it and ask my fiancé to smell it. By now, he clearly knows how much I love it. But since it was a bit expensive, I never bought it myself or expected him to buy it for me.

My fiancé’s dad makes perfumes and offered to recreate it for me. I accepted and started waiting.

About three days before my birthday, my fiancé called me and said, “My dad couldn’t find the essence for your perfume. He said you can buy it yourself if you want, though he can make something close to it.”

At first, I didn’t think much of it and figured I’d buy it for myself someday. But the next night, he sent me links to some leather backpacks that are around the same price as the perfume. And asked which color he should get for himself. That’s when it hit me: If I were him, I would’ve bought the perfume as a birthday gift instead.

I didn’t ask him to buy it, but I did share how that hurt me a little. Being told to buy it myself days before my birthday, when he knew how much I loved it.

He’s not the type to buy gifts or flowers. If someone tells him not to get them anything, he simply doesn’t. I once told him that gift giving isn’t just about being told to or not, it’s about making someone happy by showing you genuinely thought of them, and that it is my love language. I explained that my mom also tells me not to get her anything, but she’s always really happy when I do.

We ended up arguing when he responded, “Well, my parents genuinely don’t want anything. They don’t manipulate.” But the thing is, his mom always brings me gifts whenever she visits our hometown. So clearly, gift giving does mean something to her.

His “not buying gifts” was never an issue for me until just days before my birthday, when everything was a bit obvious.

He said he’s crafting something special for me instead, something he believes is more meaningful. And while I do appreciate that, I still feel a bit let down. I had clearly hoped for the perfume, and the only thing stopping me from getting it before was its price.

Now I’ll just buy the perfume for myself, because at this point it wouldn’t feel the same if he gave it to me without me explicitly asking.

AITA for expecting this, though?