Now. I want to admit that by the title alone this sounds like coercive behaviour. So I'd ask you give me time to explain before answering here.

Basically on Easter Saturday we were victims of an arson attack against our home. At 2am we had a fire bomb with accelerant (likely petrol) forced through our letterbox. Thankfully our smoke alarm was triggered quickly as we have one on the hallway, and I managed to put it out with an extinguisher and fire blanket. Police came out, forensics came out, fingerprints were found and it ended up being the daughter of someone my partner used to work for.

Myself, my fiancée, and 10 month old daughter for this.

In short this individual decided on a revenge attack after HMRC (the UKs tax office) enforced their business to pay underpaid wages in court.

Anyway this wasn't the friend. The friend we found out was hanging around with this individual later, and when my fiancée questioned this we immediately received another threat from the arsonist (who's now out on bail with conditions not to contact us) threatening to smash her, and our ten month old daughters head in.

At this point I messaged said friend and said she was disgusting, to them be insulted, and called a "coercive abuser" by her mother (yes an adult woman needed her mum to fight her battles when called out).

I asked my fiancée to block her for our families safety, she has agreed and done so, and we have passed this information on to the police.

However, now ex friend and her mother are going round saying my request was abusive and controlling (alongside other claims I'm a paedophile and beat my fiancée, but I know these are untrue so just ignore them as do others thankfully). However many people have messaged me saying the friendship is my fiancée's choice, and my daughter isn't important here.

Specifically however in the spirit of honesty, I have told my partner I will be putting my daughter first, and if she speaks to her ex friend or their ex friends family again I will be taking my daughter and leaving to ensure her safety after recent occurrences. They say this is abusive and coercive behaviour, I personally believe my daughters safety is paramount as she can't defend herself.

I would like to clarify again fiancée is okay with this and agrees. However others say I'm manipulating her.

So yes. AITA here?