Me (26F) and my girlfriend (25F) have been long-distance for almost a year now. I took a contract job across the country, and I’ve decided to stay longer after being offered a full-time position because I really like it here.

She owns a house back home and has been going back and forth on whether to move out here. I really want her to come and have tried to convince her, but ultimately it’s her decision.

Overall, I think we’ve been handling long-distance pretty well. We see each other about every three months. But like any couple, we have our fights. About four months ago, we had a really bad one. I was feeling super undesirable and, in a moment of anger, I texted her: “Well, I have a girl here who’s been trying to f*ck on me!”

I’ll admit I said it to hurt her. I wanted her to see that I was desirable. I never did anything with that girl, and I haven’t seen her since. But the comment really hurt my girlfriend. Before me, she was in an abusive relationship where her ex cheated on her constantly and would rub it in her face. So I know that what I said reminded her of that trauma.

We talked about it and managed to move forward, or at least I thought we had. But every once in a while, she brings it back up.

Today, I was telling her about an LGBT event I’m planning to go to, and she asked me if that girl was going to be there. That caught me off guard, mostly because I haven’t seen that girl since that night. I also just wanted to talk about the event without it turning into a whole thing.

I told her no, the girl won’t be there. She started saying how that moment still affects her and how it makes her angry when she thinks about it. I tried to reassure her, but she kept going and wouldn't let it go.

Eventually, I got frustrated and told her that it’s not fair for her to act like I’m the kind of person who would just sleep with anyone. She said she wasn’t trying to make me feel like that, but that what I said planted a seed of doubt. I asked her if it would have been better if I hadn’t said anything at all. She told me she wants honesty and that she would have understood if I’d brought it up in a calm way. The issue for her is that I said it during a fight and that it felt like something her ex would have said, which brought back bad memories.

I told her I understand, and I’ve tried to be patient and supportive, but I also said it’s been almost five months and I really need her to let it go and start trusting me.

So, AITA for asking her to stop bringing it up?