TLDR: My husband wants to borrow my bike to go for a ride after the family easter egg hunt to avoid the sugar crash-induced chaos that follows, and I said "no" because I planned to take the kids for a bike ride in the morning to burn off their extra energy and distract them from fighting and crying. My husband is upset because he feels entitled to use it if he wants to. I think I could be the asshole because there's a chance the kids will refuse to even change out of their PJs till midday.

I'd like your harshest judgement on me, please. I started my period today and haven't cried yet, so please oblige. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday which in our home is when the Easter Bunny visits and leaves the eggs for the Easter egg hunt. It's a lovely early morning ritual of inter-sibling violence and trying to beat the ravens to the eggs.

At family dinner tonight, my husband announced that immediately after the Easter egg hunt, he would be leaving the house for a few hours. He explained that since every year the children's behaviour descends into chaos and bloodshed (exaggeration mine) because of the sugar crash and he always says he wishes he was somewhere else, this year he will actually be somewhere else.

I was already mildly put out by this news being announced. I won't miss his company because the only thing worse than the kids' bad behaviour, is his commentary and reaction to it. However, I would have appreciated a private heads up and that he didn't have to frame it as blaming the kids for being badly behaved before it's even happened.

Anyway, I know better than to complain about how he delivers his proclamations or he might threaten to actually stay. But out of curiosity, and to show friendly interest, I asked where he planned to go. He said, "I don't know yet! Just not here!" Which I feel was unnnecessarily blamey and judgemental but that's beside the point. He then added, "I might go for a ride on your bike."

I immediately protested, "You can't take my bike!"

He was taken aback, "Why not?"

I explained, "I might need it, if I take the kids for a bike ride."

"When are you going?"

"I don't know, but we'll probably go in the morning to get out of the house."

"Well, if you're going out, there's no point in me leaving."

"We might not be out the whole time, but we can't go at all if you take my bike."

"Fine then, I guess I'll drive somewhere since I'm not allowed your bike."

"Are you upset that I said no to letting you take my bike?"

"Yes. I'm upset that you won't let me use my bike. It should be my bike now. Thanks for dinner. It was great."

(Background info: today he rode my bike which is the first bike he's ridden in about 40 years so that he could check for sizing for his ebike which he ordered online this afternoon. I bought it second hand a year or so ago, to ride with the kids, but had to wait till a couple of months ago to ride it because my daughter only just got confident riding on standard footpaths, rather than extra wide paths at the park. I've added extra baskets to it so I could carry all the kids stuff that they insist on bringing everywhere. I had it serviced recently because when I first taught my daughter to ride her bike, I was too optimistic and had to keep dropping my bike to leap to her rescue when she'd crash hers. I couldn't ride it while I was waiting for it to be serviced so had to jog along behind my kids. I can't really emphasise enough how much I hate jogging. I also just really enjoy riding my bike and have told him so every time I get home. I totally understand why he would want to ride it again, it's fun as fudge! My husband has an eScooter. His chronic pain, health and fitness issues means that the scooter is uncomfortable for him to use, exacerbating his sciatica, which is why he wanted to use my bike. He was joking about my bike being his now but he wasn't joking about being upset.)

I think I may be the asshole because I said no to lending him my bike even though I don't know for sure we'll go for a ride in the morning. It was my intention to do so, but I can't always manifest my plans if the kids refuse to cooperate. I don't think I'm the asshole cos it's my bike and I wouldn't question him if he said no to me borrowing anything of his. I don't feel entitled to his personal belongings, just all his income and assets.