My mother died recently. We had a strained relationship. She never respected boundaries and felt that as an only child that I was required to live how she wanted me to every way she wanted me to. After several decades of being who she required and being policed by her, I couldn’t take it anymore. She had ahold of me in a way that made me refer to her as my jailer. I was suffocated, so I moved out. She threw a self pity party just because her adult daughter wouldn’t pay to have her move along and wanted a life of her own.

She couldn’t deal with that. I moved to a different city. She wanted me to call her twice a day and text every hour. Every conversation turned into a fight. I had PTSD from being kidnapped and raped once, and she would scream triggering insults at me like a toddler when I wouldn’t do what she wanted or agree to what she wanted, so I’d end up cutting myself with a knife as my go to coping skill. This was terrible for my mental health, so I decided to cut contact completely in July of last year. I looked like a zebra from all the PTSD cutting and the only way to stop was to not have her screaming at me all the time.

Unbeknownst to me, one week after I went full no contact with her, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. There was nothing the doctors could do for her. She turned to my selfish greedy uncle for support. He had spent his life convincing everyone else in the family that because he was rich and successful at work that he was more important than the rest of us. My aunt’s children (his sister’s children) won’t have anything to do with him for his greed and superiority either. His own children don’t spend much time with him and have been in lots of therapy from the family dynamics.

Come to find out my mother decided she needed revenge against me for walking out when she could not respect any boundaries. She cut me out of the will and gave 60% of her life insurance to my uncle who is already rich.

When they contacted me that she was dying, she was already in a coma, so I had no chance to speak to her or reconcile anything before she died. At her apartment after she died I found a letter she had written me telling me her death was all my fault, I’m a monster for leaving (her favorite word to call me), and a whole bunch of other nastiness no mother should tell a daughter especially when it’s in a goodbye I’m dying letter. My uncle cut me out of her funeral only mentioning me once along with her cats which she loved and took care of better than me.

After she died I was left 100% alone. She had done her best to isolate me my whole life so she could be in control and I had just moved to a new city for work. My friends were in the other city and had drifted away. I couldn’t concentrate at work and depression got the better of me. I lost my job and ended up in the hospital.

When I got out of the hospital I was facing a financial crisis and eviction. I called my uncle crying leaving voicemail messages begging for his help. I had no idea he felt so little for me that in that severe a crisis he would completely abandon me, take the money, and run. That’s what he did completely ignoring me. He wouldn’t even pick up the phone to say I love you, I care, how can I help, are you safe?

I ended up in the hospital again after a PTSD panic attack where I almost died because I had hurt myself with a large knife and severely in debt facing complete financial ruin. Eventually I got out and got the help and support of a mental health professional to help secure housing and get employed again and get control of my PTSD and depression, but the damage was done and a hole left in my heart. I’m having to live at the bottom now and try to rebuild with no support. My whole life my uncle had said he was family and cared and would help if I ever needed it, but come to find out I was nothing to him and my selfish mother was just a payday he could gain by grabbing the life insurance.

I needed closure and although he was too cowardly to ever speak to me, I wrote him a letter detailing the pain and disappointment. I told him how black hearted and greedy he turned out to be and even told him I hope he dies like my mother did since he didn’t care if I died.

AITAH for saying this and not just keeping it to myself?