Warning this includes the following: SA, Abuse, and SH.

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When I was 13F my ex 13M let’s call Ken started going out, we had known each other for 2 years already, when I decided to text him and ask him out. He didn’t understand what I was asking so we called and we agreed to be together, the next day I felt bad for my friend because him 13M we will call Loui, Loui had a thing for Ken since 2 months prior to me asking him out, but I felt even worse so got back with him. Me and Ken were happy together for a while, we would call every night, I made him things ect. For Christmas I bought him a baby Yoda Funko pop out of my pocket money, I wasn’t expecting anything in return. But I later found out he put it on his window sill out of the way.

The following year after this things started becoming weird. Ken would force me to hangout with him, even when I didn’t want to, he’d be handsy, touching me in quite intimate places, making me uncomfortable. I told him to stop but he scoffed and never did.

This one time in particular we were in a park, I sat on the grass and he did too, I just blinked and he had pulled me onto his lap, holding me close, caressing me. I pushed him onto the floor carefully not to hurt his head and I got up saying “I said no” then I had ran away from him because he had chased me, I then ran towards a tree and climbed it, he had came up behind me grabbed me from where he was and pulled me down. I twisted my ankle but never said to him. He then said “I don’t care if you said that.” And proceeded to sit me on his lap, he then started to bounce me up and down, reaching under my shirt ect. I kept telling him to stop, but he never did.

At school he would act like he never did it, for example in English one time he kept turning around to tell our friends something numb about video games, Ig was distracting me, so every time he did it I said “Ken, can you turn around and work please… it’s distra-“ he always cut me off saying “It’s not your problem your not my mother so shut up” then he kicked my leg.

Another time he hurt me was in history. Due to my additional needs I copy people, and on this day I copied him. He said “m-m-m-miss” so I copied, he snapped me and pinched my side really hard, causing a bruise to form. I told him “I didn’t mean too, I’m sorry” he wasn’t standing for it.

Might I add that when I was 14 and he also was 14 I was being bullied by this dude named Andrew (not his real name but for privacy reasons here we go) Andrew was friends with my friends and ken, it started as simple teasing calling me small nicknamed that one would typically say to someone like idiot, retardant, ect. But one time Andrew got up and I sat next to Ken, I didn’t know if Andrew was going to be back but when he did I froze, he whispered in my ear “get out the way fatty”. When I tell you I was shocked I was beyond that, I was livid. Seeing red practically. Not only that but I was ashamed and embarrassed, I told Ken about it, Ken rolled his eyes and said “god can’t that ass behave” I’m still unsure if he was on about Andrew or me. I reported the bullying to teachers several times but nothing was done, Ken always claimed “Not when I’m around” or “I didn’t hear anything” Andrew said it in earshot every time. Andrew even kicked my chair in classes causing me to go into the desk, get bruises everywhere due to the impact. I reported that too, nothing got done.

The bullying got so bad that I ended up doing SH. Ken acted like he cared around everyone else, but he scolded me in private. Staying how disappointed in me he was. During the bullying Ken was always on a call with Tyler (again not real name) when he got on a call with me Tyler called and Ken would hang up and go to Tyler.

Around January 21st when we were almost 2 years together, I left him. I didn’t feel safe with the relationship, I had explained to the friends me and Ken shared the situation. And they said to go for it. I didn’t tell them about the SA but they had witnessed the comments I would get, Ken also told them secrets I had told him. So I left him.

Around two months after I left him he was making fun of my accent saying “You sound like tracer from over watch” and laughing, so I said “Say that again and I’ll bang your bloody mother” I was annoyed so I said it. He does martial arts and put his hand straight but firm, jabbing it into the front of my neck, stopping me from breathing for a while, only 34 minutes later was I able to breathe properly. I told teachers but nothing happened.

February this year for no reason he told me to “go drink bleach” i told him “you basically just told me to kill myself you know that right?” He was just like “No? I didn’t say it was strong bleach” I just sighed and said “bleach is still acidic, it can burn through or insides and kill you” I then told teachers and they did nothing. Said they’d talk to him, never did.

I told my friends about it, most of them sided with me saying he was in the wrong, but I don’t know. Was I wrong for turning the friends we share against my ex?