Hello Reddit,

Not sure if AITA for this but I'd like some perspective from the internet. My mom is 92 and we live in South Florida. Prior to the economic downturn of 2023/2024 I was making just a couple of hundred dollars shy of $100K working in tech. Then I got laid off. Then my mom's health got seriously worse and the doctors wanted to send her to hospice to die basically. I fought them and won and she is much better now and continues living with me in my home. Medicare covers her particular treatment which can be done at home. Only a nurse is needed once a week and we have a mostly-reliable one who comes each week.

Once I was laid off I was out of work for 9 months and we nearly got evicted. They served notice and were getting ready to file. Didn't matter to them that I had lived here for over 8 years, I was a descent tenant, paid my rent on time even during the pandemic, they knew my mom was 100% bed-bound, etc. They wanted their money and would throw us if we didn't comply and those were nearly their exact words.

By luck and God's Grace, I had two people who weren't even blood-family help us out. Our own flesh and blood abandoned us and said don't come to us for money you should have placed her in a home (to die). This is after years and years of taking care of my mom, never asking blood-family for any type of financial assistance or even getting much help from them period. So now I have a remote job but it only makes 43K. Most of that goes to rent ($2220).

I'm thinking of moving us out of state but not sure if this is wise or if AITA.

Area I am targetting is the Gulf Coast of Miss or Alabama. Thing is, if I were to do this:

- I would need a car. I have 0 money left in savings and my credit score has dropped to around 600 so not sure how I could even afford this. If I did between the monthly payment and insurance I may pay $500/month and there would go most of my savings in rent.

- Not sure if my mom's crazy erratic dementia behavior would come back. Presently mom is lucid happy and normal staring out her big window and has a pretty city-view which I think keeps her happy and no need for dementia drugs. Not sure if moving to a cheaper apartment setting where you only have a view of the parking lot, trees, or other buildings in the complex would trigger or depress her. The doctor is not sure either.

-Might see a benefit savings of nearly $700 rent/month but that doesn't factor in the cost of a car monthy payment, even if I qualify.

- Not sure if we'd even like the area or climate as we're from South Florida. I can keep an open mind but just don't know.

And the big thing is, if I loose this job I won't have money for rent and at least in a cheaper cost of living state, I may be able to float my finances for 1 month. I know if we get evicted, my mom would be sent to a state-run nursing home and she would certainly die. And I would end up homeless and not sure if I would be able to recuperate from something like that. I called some nursing homes months ago and most were iffy in taking her in care due to her delicate medical condition. Even a super expensive nursing home which was immaculate, and cost well over $100K/year, didn't know how to treat her medical condition as when I mentioned my mom's medical condition, the nursing staff on the floor that actually treat the residents had a deer in the headlights look about them. So these places are out.

My present job has me dealing with the elderly a little bit and from what I've learned so far, it is very dangerous for the elderly to live alone or apart from family. So something tells me the best thing is for me and my mom to stay together. Just not sure I can given how expensive things are and my significant loss of income and I don't see plentiful high paying jobs coming back soon. I could do other things but as I am taking care of my mom I have to work remote. And I have tried home help in the past but the women that do those jobs seem to be very unreliable, and make very little doing these jobs, and end up quitting in a few months anyway. So "at home" help is nice, but it's something I cannot 100% rely on and so work from home is a reality for me.

Helpful thoughts on whether or not to move appreciated.

Thanks