Hey,

Made this new account, yada yads. You know the drill. I need advice as my partner and I can’t agree . I’m not fake, I have a main I don’t wanna have found out.

So I (25F) and my partner (34M) have been married for a few months. Dating 2 years We’ve been using protection and we are starting to get a job, no stability.

I wanted kids, I blab about them. 1-2 months, we got pregnan, broke at the time. I want the baby, he doesn’t. We argue, I cry. He says he wants us with jobs and stability. I have the abortion. I use birth control, 2-3 months go by, I’m pregnant again. Same argument, I want baby, he doesn’t. (We’ve been having sex less often, as not to have pregnancy scare.)

Now, the problem comes to now. We are getting hired, and last month I was pregnant, (bc oopsie) and I wanted to keep the baby. He didn’t yet until we had money. I said I get it, I’m not going to hold you down but bear with me, I’m hormonal, I want to keep this baby and you can go away. I know he doesn’t want to keep the baby. Hormones aren’t an excuse, I know. I ask him to support me and just be with me through the pregnancy.

I lasted 8 weeks, he reminded me that he didn’t want the baby. I’m having pains and cramps, he has comments. Example, my nipples were hurting and I said so, he goes “not to be a dick but you wanted this. I don’t.” Granted, he says these comments when I try to get him to pick out baby names, and stuff, just in case he changes his mind.

It lasted till 8 weeks, he kept up the reminder, I got the procedure. No more baby.

NOW, I’m 2 months in, depressed and regretting my decision. We talk, I ask him when can we have a baby? He says in 1-2 years when we have jobs and stability. I say ok, it’s not fair to me but I want a kid. He say no, I don’t feel comfortable, it isn’t the right time. Etc

I’m like I know, I want my baby as I regret my decision, i will take responsibility, find out how to do it myself, etc. he says that’s not how it works, as I’ll help you with the baby.

I then ask him, well if I can’t have a baby, and you want me to wait on your time, that’s not fair. I had this procedures every time for you, as you didn’t want a baby. We are arguing back and forth and he says since our things don’t align, why don’t you divorce me, find a man who wants a baby and I move back home?

I say no, he says why do you want MY baby specifically, and I say because I grew a connection to our past children I had to get rid of for YOU to feel comfortable and happy.

Now my question is, who’s in the right? I want him to see that I want a baby and It’s killing me as he doesn’t see it as he’s getting everything he wants while I suffer. He say no and wait until we have money and stability in 1-2 years. He thinks I don’t care about how we’d be broke, and only have one person working.

How can we have a compromise? How can I explain that I’m not trying to make us broke but it’s unfair that I’m compromising my body, while he says he feels sorry, and he doesn’t want me to feel that way, but I ask him if we got pregnant in 2-3 months while working, what would he do and he says get rid of it as it’s still not the time .

So please help me. AITA For wanting a kid?

TDLR; I want a baby after many procedures for my partner who says it’s not time, and only wants a baby when he’s ready and comfortable, he won’t change his mind and it’s hurting me.