To preface, I've never been very close with either of my parents. They had their own issues and never provided emotional support and weren't really parents in the typical sense. For instance I never got the birds and the bees talk and my mom didn't know I had my period until 2 years after it started. They were still my parents and they tried, and we're all just human, I can recognize that. I had a lot of mental health issues and got very little support. I started struggling with self injury at 10 years old and to this day they still don't know. This is all besides the point honestly.

The one constant I had in my life was at least my parents were still together. I watched my best friend deal with her parents' divorce in middle school and had multiple boyfriends with difficult family life. My parents were never physical and I knew they loved me in their own way.

In October 2023 ( I was 20 at the time but still lived at home while in school), my dad left. He didn't say good-bye to me. I found out from my mom calling me while I was in the car on my way to a family halloween party. I didn't see my dad for maybe three weeks after this. I already had a hard year leading up to this, our oldest pet had passed unexpectedly in the April previous and my cat went missing the month before in September. We had just moved into our first house as a family that year after living my whole life in apartments. We weren't even able to enjoy it for even 8 months yet before my dad left.

My mom said from the beginning we would stay together. I offered to help with rent and expenses, and my younger sister (18 at the time) offered as well. I wanted to try to keep the house, at first my mom agreed but after a week she changed her mind and we were looking at rentals. After a couple more weeks, towards the end of December, she decided it wasn't an option anymore. Instead, my sister and I would move in with our grandma and she would live with our great grandma and our great aunt about 2 hours away from us. My great grandma ended up passing away (she was 90 something and it wasn't a surprise) while we were in the process of moving in February 2024. That put a wrench in things, as my mom's family decided they would be selling the house by the summer but my mom could stay there in the meantime.

Unbeknownst to my sister and I, our mom had reconnected with a guy from her high school in March. They started dating right away, but my mom didn't us about him. Also in March, we had some unexpected family loss on my dad's side after a house fire, so we weren't in a great spot. I should also mention that my grandparents speak a different language that my sister and I aren't fluent in (I'm proficient but not enough for complex conversations). I broke up with my ex at the end of May, we had some more family drama, the list goes on. I didn't find out about my mom's partner until July, when she moved in with him

We found out in September that my mom's Dad also passed away. He had passed away in June/July at home and nobody knew. It was a bit of a shock to find out the way we did. Our dog had gotten into a dog fight at the same time and her eye got injured (her eye had to be surgically removed but she's much better now). Essentially, it had been a stressful and traumatizing year. My friends joke (mostly) that my family got cursed in some way.

Throughout all this, my dad is doing the bare minimum. We went from living together to I'm lucky if he texts me once a month at 3am. He had cancer scare and broke his arm at some point, I didn't find out until later. I'm working full time and in school, I don't have much free time as it is, so I saw my mom maybe once a month.
She didn't spend Thanksgiving with us. Instead she went to DisneyLand with her boyfriend.

She didn't come to the family Christmas party either. She said she was tired and didn't want to deal with too much family.

My sister and I didn't see her until maybe late January. Then I notice a ring on her finger. She tells us that she got engaged on Christmas but wanted to tell us in person. At this point I still hadn't met her partner, I knew practically nothing about him. She also tells us that they plan on moving to Arizona (we live in california currently) next Fall.

Finally, I met him in the first week of February this year. He didn't exactly make a stellar first impression. Very little manners, didn't even offer to pay for the meal. Instead joked we should do this more often when my mom paid. He had questionable knuckle tattoos, and then smoked a cigarette outside and I watched him throw the butt on the ground and leave it there. I might be nit picky about it, but this is my mom we're talking about. That was my first and so far, only impression.

Last week of February, my mom tells my sister and I that they'll be getting married the first week of April. She had some plan about stopping in Vegas and going to the rock and roll museum and visiting the house they want in Arizona.

To be clear, I've made my apprehension known this whole time. Consistently, I've told my mom that she's moving too fast and I don't want them to move to another state when I barely see her as it is. She will consistently come back with the following excuses: she tries harder than my dad to stay in our lives, she was younger than I am when her parents got divorced so it should be easier for me, I'm transferring to another college in 2026 (haven't actually chosen where and applications aren't even open yet) so we are all making choices, and she needs to make choices for herself.

Her fiance's mom passed away the second week of March. His mom was living with them and my mom was there when it all happened. They cancelled the Vegas plan, and instead decided they would just go to Reno instead. On a Thursday. When she knows I have class. She never actually checked if I could make it after telling us.

A week before the elopement, she sent a formal invitation for her birthday brunch and I just snapped.

I sent her a message that if she got married this fast, I couldn't be in her life anymore. I don't know why she's rushing everything, I've asked her multiple times to go back to therapy and she refused, and I asked her to just wait a year. The timing would be better, it would give my sister and I time to get to know him, she could plan the wedding she wanted, etc. I'll admit I could've been nicer, but everything had just gotten to me and I had enough.

She told me that the car insurance would end in June and I needed to have a new one lined up by then.

I kept messaging, I laid out everything point blank. She responded one more time, accused me of trying to control her and said she wouldn't respond to me until the weekend so I couldn't interrupt her happiness. She set me her location with no context at 3pm on Thursday, in Reno. One friend said that she just wanted me to come but Reno is over a 3 hour drive, she just wanted me to know that she made her choice.

She hasn't responded to me since then. Her birthday is tomorrow and I know she probably wants me to be there but I don't think I can stomach it. She hasn't actually asked me individually to go. I already lost so much these last two years, I don't want to lose my mom too but I don't know what's going on with her and watching her leave me behind like this just hurts too much.

AITA if I go no contact after this?

The other stories I've read about going no contact are usually following abuse or severe manipulation, etc but I just think my mom is trying to move on but she's hurting the rest of us in the process. I love my mom and I don't want it to be like this, I just don't feel like I have any other option. I don't know.