For context, I (27F) have been divorced from my ex-husband (29M) for over two years now and have been separated for close to five years. We have a child together (3F) through adoption and I have full custody due to him abandoning us with his new wife and children.

I have undergone an intense child custody battle that involved them calling CPS on me multiple times for baseless accusations that were all easily proven untrue, narcissism from him when it comes to co-parenting, and I had gained full custody of our daughter after he never showed up to court multiple times and taken our daughter out of the state and country multiple times without prior permission or knowledge.

According to my ex in-laws, my ex-husband has cut off all communication with their whole family and refuses to speak to them.

Now, for the reason I came to Reddit.

His parents love our daughter and I truly understand that. I have been nothing but transparent with them and have been supportive with them having a relationship with her after the events mentioned above. However, during a visit at a park last week, I was told by them that my actions in gaining full custody of our daughter were ‘sneaky’ and ‘dissapointing’. They seem to believe that the reason why their son gave up custody of our daughter was because I sprung this up out of nowhere and that he had no knowledge of the court dates he missed and blamed me for being unable to co-parent with him.

At the time, I felt heart broken that they felt this way, but I’d rather know the truth of how they felt instead of being told a lie. I didn't feel the need to defend myself in the middle of a childrens park, so I didn't say anything. It had eaten away at me for a few days before I finally said something. They claim they ‘didnt mean it in such a negative way’ and that they understand how everything happened, they are just upset by everything.

How else am I supposed to take those words? I took them negatively, yet I still invited them to see our daughter and video call with her often (I live about four hours away from them). Yet, they want to disrespect me in a childrens park because their son gave up his rights to our daughter? I’m so confused and don't know what to do. When I talked to them further, they still think it was cold of me to ‘not let him know’ of the court dates like I'm still his wife or his mother, and that this all could have been avoided if I had reminded him of the court dates and him changing his address within the courts.

In my mind, I want to essentially ghost them entirely. Because that's what I usually do when people disrespect me. My therapist told me if they are disrespectful towards me, then they lose access to my child and that it's their own fault. I agree, but I dont think I have the heart to do it. (for additional context, my therapist and I have been working on establishing boundaries and this has proven to be a bit difficult for me)

I’ve come to ask what you would do in this situation, and would I be the asshole if I cut off contact with my in-laws which would include my daughter for their disrespect towards me.