i (m20) have a friend called Flo (m22). we have been friends since we were 17 and finished college together. I came out as gay when we were 18. He was a little unsure on how to handle it, as if it affects him, but nevertheless he was never openly rude or offensive.

Flo is originally italian catholic, so i guess it makes sense why he has the views he does. I knew this and never openly spoke about my love life, my preferences or made any comments about my sexuality.

A few months ago, i found out through a mutual friend called imogen he has been talking about me behind my back. Spreading rumours about me (how i don’t use protection and sleep with married older straight men?) and telling girls i was likely pretending to be gay to pray on them? stupid stuff, really.

At first, the sleeping with married men was kinda funny and it made me laugh because me and imogen, joke about this silly stuff a lot. and i assumed imogen was lying or trying to annoy me, but she showed me screenshots of what flo was saying.

Immediately i called flo and confronted him. He began getting all defensive and pulled every card to try and defend himself. He was drunk, he was high, he was joking, he’s religious and whatnot. But then pulled the “i’m jealous” card from his ass. I asked what he meant and he said he did it because he’s secretly gay, and wanted to get my attention. That he secretly liked me and was internally conflicted. And the worst part? he sounded serious.

Then he confessed his “feelings” and said he’s wanted to sleep with me for ages, and can’t stand being around people i’ve potentially slept with, even if he doesn’t know who because again, i don’t talk about it. He asked me to list all of the people and when i refused, he got upset.

He asked to be friends with benefits and i said yes. He genuinely sounded happy and i told to come over the next week on the friday after work at 5:30.

did i plan to sleep with him? no. He told me years ago he had a bisexual brother who left the family, moved from italy to australia and went MIA. His family shortly moved to australia (they’re half australian) and carried on with life without him.

I knew his brothers name and socials, sp i hit him up. he had no idea who i was to his brother and we began texting. A few days later he asks to meet and i say friday 1:30. He comes over and we hook up and he leaves, and flo shortly arrives.

Did i plan to sleep with him? no. not really. We made out and he asked how many men i’ve been with, and i reply with a rough estimate. he laughs it off and we eventually have sex. afterwards, i lie on the bed as he changes a pillowcase and he asks my most recent fling besides him and i pull out my phone and show the profile of his brother. i claim he was a random guy who chatted me up, and he immediately starts yelling at me. calling me names, cussing me out and whatnot. It was actually funny and rather scary. a 6ft muscular italian man screaming at me, a skinny 5’7 guy who’s never seen a gym? terrifying, but funny.

i crack a joke and say “same time next week?” and he storms out after throwing a tv remote at my forehead. i was blocked and harassed by a few of his friends. No biggie. fuck around and find out, i guess.

edit: flos brother ended up being told about it. when he showed up, i told him and suggested we either not tell flo or not do it at all. His brother didn’t care what we did, and actually thought it was funny because he saw it as deserved for everything his family put him through. he wanted something casual and didn’t care if i told flo or not.

Imogen also knows too, as it was me who brought it up and her who suggested i actually go through with it. i’m not blaming imogen at all, because she’s not the one who ended up sleeping with the guy.

so, was this asshole behaviour?