My partner and I have been together for almost 10 years. Married. New baby. I am finding myself angry at their incompetence. Am I overreacting? Both 40 years old.

Food orders- I can text them what to say at the drive through and ask they read it verbatim at the window and they get my order wrong 9 out of 10 times without fail, like complete wrong items. For example, I want the McDouble meal and they get me the two cheeseburger meal or I want Classic Fried Chicken with fries and they get me the Spicy tenders with mashed potatoes. Like whyyyy? I know it seems dumb but imagine communicating clearly after being asked what you want to eat to where they just need to read out loud (a skill they can do) and most EVERY time, FOR YEARS, they get it completely wrong? This person went to graduate school, the comprehension and communication skills are there.

Cleanliness- Keeping a clean home for the baby is important to me. I have communicated this, and this is not a new expectation, baby or not, and I am realistic! I am not following you around with a vacuum all day. My partner leaves a trail of crumbs everywhere they go. They throw food on our floor, instead of in the GIANT PAPER GROCERY BAG or WASTE BIN I HAVE PROVIDED at their FEET. EVERY NIGHT. Like peanut shells, fruit snack wrappers, beef jerky stick wrappers they use their teeth to open and just like spit out on our floor FOR ME to clean up EVERY morning while I care for our infant. Previously, we moved into our beautiful expensive home and they turned the lower level in to a literal trash pit, why are they just dropping food on the floor and leaving it on our cream colored carpet in the finished basement? Like why? Candy wrappers, gum wrappers, just throws the wrappers on the floor- I have added trash cans all over our home, in EVERY ROOM practically and they continue to just leave trash everywhere. When we were in an apartment, this was not the case. It is getting WORSE with time.

They make a snack in the kitchen EVERY NIGHT. I can ask them to please wipe up the crumbs, they say ok, and then I wake up to CRUMBS EVERYWHERE- after I JUST CLEANED the counter tops- EVERY DAY. And then when I ask them what happened they tell me they DID clean up the crumbs! Maybe they are going BLIND? No food wrappers make it into the trash can either- leaves them on the counter EVERY DAY! They leave empty and half drank soda ALL OVER the living room, up to 5 cans a night, for me to throw away every morning. Because they don't clean a damn thing in the home.

The ONLY housework they contribute is taking out the trash in the kitchen- which I mostly bag and gather the rest of the cans throughout our three story home every week and they scoop the cat litter box- only because my recent pregnancy I could not. Both of these remedial tasks I need to often BEG them to complete. These are consistent home tasks, why must I remind them and twist their arm to do!?

I have an infant to care for, I don't need a grown ass child. I confronted them today and asked if they were doing this weaponized incompetence on purpose or if they truly need a brain scan because I feel like the need their head examined. Ofc I felt awful after and apologized but how much does one take? Now if I hold them accountable for literally any contribution to an adult household- I am the bad guy who is just finding something to complain about. With the food, why is it an issue, they will just "go back and get the right thing?" I wanted the RIGHT thing I asked for the first time!

I am currently on maternity leave but have a stressful job to return to soon on TOP of all of the stuff I already do. I handle all the home and vehicle obligations, finances and childcare, besides when they play video games ALL night and "watch" the baby. I have major mobility issues since the baby- chronic back and arm pain that prevent me from pulling the sheet down every morning- I asked them to fix it for me, they NEVER do it, I have given up asking.

They are like a tornado and make everything in my day to day life more difficult. The little things really add up. The continued lack of support and mindfulness is taking its toll. AITA and just overwhelmed given the new baby? Or is it valid to be irritated by this neglectful behavior? Mind you, they are just like aloof and I don't think it is malicious intent, but fuck I am really trying to grow here and they are just going backwards. Just needed to vent, ugh. I love them, and in this economy cannot leave, but I feel like they are ruining my life and sucking the life right out of me and do nothing to lift me up. I kind of settled, since I did get married a little later in life and I thought I could just suck it up for the dual income, but fuck it is hard to cater to a fucking moron everyday who seemingly cares about nothing and is incapable of being a supporting loving partner.

AITA?