I (female) have currently been married for almost two years (husband/male) and dated for at least 3. We have had a rocky start due to a controlling mother-in-law which is a whole other tea party conversation. Regardless we have stuck together and figured it out. I love him, always have (else I wouldn’t have married him) and I have never blamed our rough situations/arguments on him if the situation revolved around something out of both our control. For example: his side and my side don’t get along due to arguments and disputes at our wedding caused by his mother. (This did lead to more rough situations due to the fact we were both in college and looking for apartments but sh** is expensive so we didn’t always have a choice to distance ourselves from family). Regardless that isn’t my issue for this post. The past issues we have over came and are no longer issues for us. No, my problem is that he seems to have went backwards in maturity and is treating me like a teenage son instead of a husband. For starters, I am a teacher so I work a lot, he works for the state and also works long hours. Which is okay that is not the issue my issue is this: what I do, laundry (washing/drying/folding) cooking all dinners/lunches/breakfasts/anything in between, dishes (cleaning up after cooking/washing dishes/putting dishes away/cleaning kitchen and dining room), taking care of groceries/meals plans/and half of the bills (bc I’m the bread winner), cutting the yard/trimming the edges/treating yard for ants/weeds, (I also love flowers so I also have a couple flower beds and plants inside), vacuum/sweeping/mopping the whole house/every time it is needed, cleaning the bathrooms/bedrooms/living room/closets/storage areas. If it’s a house chore, I do it. Hell, I even have to remind him to feed his cats (the same cats he has had since he was four, he is now 24). I also have a pet dog which I provide all care for which is my responsibility so that doesn’t count in this list. I even have to pick up his dirty clothes from the floor bc he doesn’t want to walk the 5 feet into the bathroom or laundry room (right outside our bedroom by inches) to put his dirty clothes in the bin. He doesn’t always take out the house trash (even though he will say he will, he doesn’t) he leaves his coke cans everywhere that he only took two sips out of, leaves his shoes in front of the door to the point you either step and/or trip over them to get inside. He doesn’t even bother to turn his Xbox off and will just let it run till it turns off. If he does “do” the laundry it’s taking it out of the dryer and piling it up somewhere for me to fold and put away later (doesn’t matter whose clothes or towels are in the pile). He won’t even change the sheets on the bed without asking for my help. And he was never like this before we got our own house, before he would do things the right way and help out before I asked and would definitely stop playing his Xbox to help immediately if I did ask. He is also scared of bugs so will use a literal have cam of raid spraying it till it stops moving, won’t bother to clean it or the bug up despite the animals and that being highly toxic to them. (Again I have had multiple conversations with this man about literally everything all to no avail. Like talking to a brick wall) So the question is what does he do? He finally remembers take the trash can 15 ft to the road every time it runs after 12 months of reminding him. He has the Netflix login but choices not to remember the sign in info so in my free time I don’t have access. He plays his Xbox and sleeps, talks to his friends. Hell he don’t even check the mail, I do. I know at some point we both want to start a family, but after him treating me like this for the entire time we have had our own house together I want to do the exact opposite. (Yes, I have asked and we have had conversations regarding this topic of chores being divided equally, hell I even showed him how to do things the right way bc his mom is controlling and didn’t teach him but he just doesn’t care or it doesn’t stick). I feel like I deserve better and that if I start a family with this boy (bc he ain’t a man if he treats his wife like his maid). My biggest fear is if I start a family with this boy I will be doing all this plus raising a child by myself and the sad part is I believe it. He has already told him he wont change diapers, he’s scared to even hold his nephew from birth age to now currently about to be two. Yet, I feel like he leads me on to say he wants a kid just bc I do. I can’t 100% feel like I can trust my husband with a task and to I am that person that needs to be able to trust someone to so simple things but I can’t. If he does cut the grass I have to go recut it bc he cuts cut the grass like someone spot sweeping a theatre after the mine craft movie. I feel like I can trust him about as much as I can’t trust a paper rain jacket in a hurricane. That’s all to say but know that he doesn’t have a bad heart. He is really kind, will stop to help animals who are hurt or need food. Give the shirt off his back for someone in need. But my problem is I feel like he helps others more than he helps me. Which in my opinion is wrong bc we are a unit/team and you can’t leave it to just one person to do everything all alone. Anyways, I got upset (as I shall do about this topic). I asked him to move his shoes (as I’m cleaning the house for a student coming for piano lessons), when he doesn’t I go see what he is doing. Turns out, he is laying down in bed relaxing when the lesson starts in about 20 mins. I yell at him and call him an asshole, he gets defensive. I tell him I’m not apologizing to someone who treats their wife like a maid or their mom when all she asks is for you to move your shoes and your response is to get up and go lie down in bed. I’m thinking that we either need therapy or a divorce, or both. Theres my rant but I still feel like an ah for yelling at him and for secretly wanting to divorce/regret marrying him.