I'll keep this quick as I can:

I broke up with a guy that was emotionally abusive and on short notice, me and my two cats moved in with my brother in a town of 2,500 in Wisconsin. I live there with his wife, their two sons, their dog, and their two cats. I am living in his spare bedroom. We agreed that I would pay $850/month in rent for now. He really saved me. I'm grateful I had him to help me during this time.

The end of my own relationship coincided with a tough time in my brother's life when he was considering leaving his marriage. About a month after I moved in, he decided not to leave her, and instead, he decided to cash out his 401k and take his family on an 8-month vacation around the world so that he and his wife could take the chance to re-fall in love. I didn't know what my next move was, and I knew I needed a place to live. He needed someone to help with his house during this trip, so I told him I would stay there. I agreed to pay his mortgage and utilities ($2,200), and watch his house, mow his lawn, and take care of his three pets. In exchange, I asked that when he returns, he re-imburse me for the principal I paid toward his mortgage. I thought that would be fair, since I would never rent a place for $2,200 on my own. To this day, I've never spent that much on rent. Plus, I won't be able to save any money during this period because the mortgage is so high.

He said he would look into it, and he started booking all the hotels, trains, plane tickets, etc. He's now saying that he can't pay the principal to me until/if he sells his house in the future or when his house is paid off. He has 12 more years left on the mortgage. He doesn't want to take cash out and refinance because he bought his house when interest rates were 2%. He also mentioned he may never sell his house and, instead, rent it. So I may never get paid back.

I'm 37 and I and would really like the chance to find a permanent place to live and own a home someday. I feel like I'm doing him a huge favor and not only am I not getting paid for it, but I'm paying his mortgage, and thereby contributing to his equity, helping fund his vacation, and preventing him from having to pay for normal costs associated with vacations, like pet sitters or lawn care. I feel like I'm going to get one year older waiting for him to come back, and will have no savings during that time. At 37, it feels like the hard costs and opportunity costs are too high.

I even told him he could break it into payments, say $500 per month, but by then, I'll be in my early 40s. He said that didn't work for him either.

He's now telling me that he thought I would be ok with a "long-term savings" account? What does that even mean? In 12 years when he pays off his home? I'll be 50 years old! He then sort of changed course and started insisting that it was unreasonable for me to even ask to be reimbursed for a place I am living in. He says he is sacrificing too, but he won't articulate what his sacrifices are. He wants me to come talk to him in person because it's "too complicated for texts." What am I not seeing here?

Please be honest: Am I being 'victim-y' by feeling like I'm getting taken advantage of? I just left an emotionally abusive relationship so I feel like my sensitivity to this is all off. But I need someone who is not close to it to weigh in and let me know if I'm not seeing it clearly.