Got a job out on west coast, gf says she wants to come with me. She only said so after coming around when I took the job - initially she was pissed, we almost broke up, and she said she’d never want to move to this place.

I’m a bit of an avoidant, so we haven’t talked much about it since. Deadlines are up, and she’s set an ultimatum for me to decide.

I love her, I just imagine my future in CA much simpler and less heavy without her. We’ve never lived together, and I haven’t made decisions about kids that she wants certainty on (she’ll never have kids).

I’ve told her I’m 60/40 and we’re more likely breaking up. For me, I can see my actions indicate “if it’s not a yes, it’s a no”

I don’t want to regret this, but I know things change. Am I an asshole?