my two best friends (we’ll call them nancy and tina) saw me date my ex boyfriend for two years, and it was not the healthiest relationship. he cheated on me, lied, and overstepped my physical boundaries several times. when i finally broke up with him, neither of them provided super substantial support for me or helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. when nancy’s boyfriend cheated on her, she asked all her friends to unfollow him, publicly humiliate him, and basically make his life hell. i was mad that he cheated on her, since she was my best friend, so i did as she asked. after my breakup, nancy and tina did not talk to my boyfriend all the time, but they still conversed with him sometimes in a friendly manner. this bothered me, as it was the opposite of what she wanted me to do for her when her boyfriend merely cheated on her, while mine physically abused me in addition to his cheating. this was the spring before my junior year of highschool, and at this time i got accepted to enroll at a higher level school, but i would have to move an hour away. nancy and tina both promised me that we would be best friends forever and the distance would never impact our friendship. i would come home for weekends and we could all hang out like old times. about a month into my new school, i noticed something was off. they were constantly hanging out without me on weekends that they knew i was back in town, and bringing up odd topics when i was around. specifically, they began to talk about my ex boyfriend and how funny he is. this confused me, as they had never shown a liking in him before i broke up with him. as an attempt to be a part of my best friends world again, i tried to talk to him again. when i brought up to him how he used to treat me, he ghosted me immediately. i texted nancy and tina about this, wondering if they had any knowledge about this since they were now friends with him. the only response i was given was “no.” they knew how badly it hurt me to have him ghost me, since i have some weird trauma bond to him, but they didn’t care to sympathize. a few months later, i invited them to a fancy dinner for my birthday. i planned it around nancy and tina’s schedules, and even let them pick the kind of restaurant. i offered to come pick them up as well, but they wanted to ride together. they told me that they would arrive at 4PM. at 4:30 PM, neither of them had arrived or sent me any texts/called me. i texted them both, saying, “are you close?” and i later got a text at 4:45 saying, “im on my way, sorry me and tina were on facetime” from nancy. our reservations were an hour away, and it was for 7PM. my friends wanted to get ready at my house together, so that is why they would be arriving so early. nancy and tina arrived at 5:45 PM, upset that they now only had 15 minutes to get ready. nancy never apologized to me for being almost two hours late to my birthday. at dinner, i had to use the bathroom, and when i was walking back i looked out the window at my friends sitting at outside, clearly talking about something enthralling. as soon as i was within earshot, the table fell silent. i invited them to spend the night, but they decided to sleep at tina’s house instead. a week later, nancy posted a picture of my ex boyfriend on her instagram. i texted her, telling her that her closeness with my ex boyfriend was hurting our friendship. she told me i needed to stop being so passive aggressive, and she never took down the picture. later, she posted a slideshow on tiktok with all the people she was grateful for, and somehow he made it but i did not. i understand that sometimes i probably did not text her in a tone of voice that sounded completely happy to be talking to her, but i made it my intention to never be directly rude. as a last resort, i invited nancy and tina to go to a very expensive ballet with me over my winter break. nancy couldn’t go at the last minute, and it was just me and tina. i was happy to spend time with tina, since she was more of a low-maintenance friend. tina did not speak to me the entire night. she sat with her arms crossed, on her phone, or looking out the window during a dinner i paid for and the ballet i have been watching since i was a child. i was so excited to share this special tradition with her, but i noticed the feeling was not mutual. i dropped her off at her house, thanked her for coming with me, and i have never heard from tina or nancy again. another one of my close friends went to prom with him a few weeks ago. what did i do wrong here?