For the last month or so. My FIL that lives with my wife and I decided it would be ok to just tell my elderly lady neighbor that I would help her around the house and yard. My FIL didn’t ask me if I can help. He told her that I will help her and gave my number to her. She texts me Monday thru Friday if I can help her for the last month. I have been open and honest with her. I have told her that I’m very tired when I get home from work and that doing more work is not something I want to do I’m very sorry. Please contact your kids if you need help. The nearest child lives about 45 minutes or so away. So it’s not terribly far. She then ask me if I can help her on the weekends. I said no I do not want to help you I’m sorry. The weekend is for me to catch up for myself and rest. I’m very sorry please reach out to your kids.

I work 60 hours 1 week and 68 the next week I work these hour to ensure I’m able to make additional mortgage payments, put money away in savings, and still live a good/fun life. So doing more work is the last thing on my mind. I get that putting in all these hours is a personal choice. But being in my mid 40’s with a $700k mortgage for 30 years. I’m trying my best to not be stuck paying this off till I’m 70 something. And also struggle to get by.

Last night my FIL and I got into a back and forth conversation. Hard to say it was arguing like my SIL made it out to be that also brought her to defend him and attack me. And this is right when I got home from a 12 hour shift.

FIL: Can you help Diane out this weekend? Me: No I’m not gonna help her. She has her own kids that can help her. Me: Also please don’t just tell people “I will do something for them” without asking me first. Me: And don’t give out my number without asking me first. SIL: Why can’t you help? Me: Cause I’m very tired that’s why. SIL: So help her over the weekend. Me: No cause that’s my own personal time to catch my breath and to relax. SIL: All you do is go golf or hangout with friends and drink, or sit on the couch. Me: LOL, ok it’s still my own time. I spend it how ever I want to. SIL: So you still aren’t doing anything. Stop being selfish and only thinking about yourself. Me: Hey sis in law. Why don’t you help her then? You have more time on your hands than I do. SIL: Don’t drag me into this. She isn’t my neighbor. Me: Then please don’t get involved. SIL: Walks out and goes home. FIL: You have plenty of time to rest and catch up. Please just help her. The closest kid is 45 minutes away. You are 45 seconds away. Me: No I’d rather use my time the way I want to use it when I’m free. Me: Please don’t give me shit cause you think I don’t use my time productively. That’s why it’s called “me time”. Me: Why don’t you go help? You are also 45 seconds away. FIL: Cause I gotta take care of this house. Cause you don’t do it. Me: First of all, you said yourself when your daughter, my wife asked you to move back and in with us. You said you want to take care of the house and yard in return for living with us. You aren’t obligated to take care of the house. You aren’t obligated to take care of the yard. You aren’t obligated to give me money. You chose to do so yourself. I didn’t force you to do anything. I never asked you to do or for anything. Me: Again I’m not helping her. Please do not ask me again. Please do not give out my number. Please do not tell people I will do something for others. Me: Also if you “choosing” to take care of this house that your daughter chose not me is to much. Then please by all means stop doing it. I’m fully capable of taking care of it myself. FIL: You are only capable of thinking about yourself. Me: I had to get up walk away.