Okay so a bit of background info to maybe give you an insight to why i am the way i am; My dad's been an alcoholic and drug addict since i was about 4-5 years old. He also has very bad anger issues, is a narcissist and always used all of our money for drugs and beer to the point where we sometimes had to starve over the weekend, due to there not being any money left.

So in 2018 my dad got a job offer in another country, so obviously we moved there and after finishing 4th grade we started going to school there. Since 5th grade started i had the same Homeroom teacher (until 7th) and she liked me in 5th grade, but she hated my brother, since he wasn't a good student, he was like the class clown and he didn't care about anything she said to him, but i cared and she knew that, so she started taking it out on me. It wasn't even bad, just like not picking me when i was the only one with my hand up, wanting to answer the question, or some side remarks about me or my brother. But i was 11, it hurt at the time.

Then in march 2020, when Covid began, i started spiraling unconsciously, to the point where i somehow developed an eating disorder and only ate about 1-2 bites of dinner everyday because if i ate more i felt like i had to throw up. And it was fine until September 2020, where all of a sudden, i just got the urge to off myself. Looking back at it now i get why i had these feelings and thoughts, but back then I didn't understand it.

So in the night i said to myself i would commit, i also wrote a letter to my Mom and brothers, because i didn't want to just leave them without any reason why, but there was no reason why, at least not at the time. So I started writing the letter and had the great idea to just say i was getting bullied by my Homeroom teacher, though in the letter I did make it seem way worse than it actually was, f.x I said something along the lines of "Every time we're alone, she calls me slurs or bad words like Bitch." So the morning after i tried to commit (which didn't work out obviously) i just gave the letter to my dad (My mom was back in our home country at the time, studying to become a nurse).

And after my dad read the letter, he immediately called my school and just screamed and threatened them, especially my Homeroom teacher. But the thing is, my Homeroom teacher reported my dad to the police for threatening her, and it went so far that the whole thing went to court (I wasnt involved at all because when that happened i just recently turned 12) BUT another teacher from my School was also there and he gave them my Goodbye letter as evidence against my Homeroom teacher. It ended with my dad having to do community service, me and my brothers getting kicked out of the school and my Homeroom teacher being demoted to only teach 1st-4th graders.

I would definitely accept the verdict if you choose asshole, since i did sabotage her career and possibly some of her relationships (like coworkers, friends and maybe even her family). But i just want to say, I'm definitely in a better head space right now and i do regret it immensely, theres just nothing i can do about it now.