My roommate is always leaving crusty dishes in the sink or on the stove without washing them for days on end. I will ask him to please wash them so that it doesn’t smell or attract bugs but he gets defensive every time i bring it up and says it’s “not his fault” because he has depression and “wasnt raised to be clean”. I told him i care about how he’s feeling but that it’s no excuse to not clean up after yourself in a shared living space.

This has been going on for five months and I’ve had to ask at least twice a month (it happens every day, I don’t want to be too pushy)

After finding used snotty tissues on the kitchen counter i sent him a text asking if we could keep that sort of stuff to the bathroom instead of where we prepare food and he stormed out of his room to tell me the same story he always does about how he is depressed and wasnt raised to clean. He then called over one of his friends and they sat me down to have an “intervention” and accused me of having bipolar disorder and ocd because I am “nice to him but then tell him off” (???) and I’m “obsessed with being clean”. I have been tested for both of these disorders and have neither.

I want to also state that i always keep my things clean, especially in shared spaces like the kitchen, I’ve even cleaned up after him several times when I was tired of seeing/smelling old food, and i have depression as well.

This also isnt the only issue I’ve had with this roommate… whenever he does his laundry he leaves a load in the wash until it sours and he has to rewash it each time. He also smokes weed almost every day in his room despite me and our other two roommates asking him to do it outside. He clearly hasn’t had any home training and is going through something, I just need to know if I’m being too harsh on him.