I (24m) have been dating my gf (23f) for well over a year now, and it’s amazing. Very much my soulmate, loml, bff, etc. She is very close with her stepsister (25f) and her stepsisters two toddlers (1&3). I have also become very fond of them and we are very much involved in their life and with some parenting help due to their father being a POS (could write a trilogy about him, next time?).

Her stepsister has been seeing this guy (23/24m) - and knowing him through mutuals and from school, he’s always been awkward in most any instance. We do get along and have mutual interests and friends, like most people do, but it’s not anything fun. There aren’t many laughs coming from him or from what he says, just awkward really. I didn’t think she would take any liking to him but with my gf pushing for her to just have fun and take a chance on dating since she hasn’t in so long, and especially with a guy who is nice and sweet to her. They have been hanging out consistently on weekends now and she has basically told us that she loves him.

We have started to hang out as two pairs lately and I have noticed he makes very very weird eye contact. It is strong in the sense that he is staring so hard at you that it seems like he is just having a 1on1 conversation in front of everybody, and soloing everybody else out. What started to frustrate me is he would do this very noticeably to my girlfriend in front of all of us. He looks right past me and just stares so hard and just makes a group conversation or whatever we were talking about into a 1on1, as I have mentioned.

We went out to eat last week and I sat across from him with my girlfriend next to me and her stepsister across from her, and he did it so much. It started to infuriate me and I just kept thinking of the past couple times we have hung out, where he did this as well.

I wouldn’t be so mad but my girlfriend invited her stepsister to a concert we are seeing later this month for my birthday. I wasn’t too upset with her inviting her stepsister because she is one of my best friends but it led to him being a tagalong with her and I’m just not as excited as I once was for it.

I brought it up to my girlfriend and she was totally understanding and said she noticed the same tendencies along with just other awkward things. She said she would be just as annoyed as me if it were a girl of any kind doing that to me. We came down to many of conclusions -

He is very socially awkward More comfortable around women than men Hates me/doesn’t like me Scared Finds odd comfort in looking in my girlfriends eyes (totally fair but weird) Secretly in love with my girlfriend (also fair but will crash out)

We determined the last two would be the lowest likely options and have discussed if we should bring it up to him next time it’s happening. Would that be too much? We know it would be but it would just eat me alive. I know the awkwardness after would be painful but it would feel so nice to just be like “Hey, why are you always looking past me and into her eyes like nobody else is here?”

I think I’m taking it as a sign of disrespect, which led to me probably overthinking it all but over 4 times we have hung out, it’s happened every time.

I’m fine with being the asshole on this and can live with it, especially with my girlfriend justifying my frustration, but I would love to know thoughts, or if I am just an asshole.