I met my classmate, let's call her Jane, a semester ago (Fall 2024). We were never quite friends, but circumstances made us coincide in places and thus "hang out". The major incident happened a few weeks ago but Iooking back, smaller incidents have actually been happening since almost the moment we met. Within that first week of us meeting, I bought a necklace and wore it to uni. I remember being super excited just for Jane to abruptly interject and say that it looked "manly". Mind you, this was a thin and dainty gold necklace that looked anything but "manly". This made me feel embarrassed, but I shrugged it off after remembering she told me she had ASD, so I assumed the bluntness was part of it. After that initial incident, she would act normal but there would be little things that felt harsh and pointed that started to sound less like ASD and more intentional, hurtful, controlling and vindictive. One time, after talking about unattainable but fun dream careers, I shared that I would've loved to be a voice actress. Out of nowhere, I saw Jane smirk and, what I can only describe as a look of contempt, said, "You need to be pretty to be in that industry" while looking at me up and down. This was yet another unprompted comment about my physical appearance that was charged with negative vibes. I always tried to be nice and understanding, but Jane would also physically yank me when she wanted me to give her my attention, call me her "entertainment", constantly put down my interests, that guys wouldn't ever like me physically, and she would call me a "friend" sarcastically only when I did something convenient for her (I never engaged back those comments and just shrugged or changed topic to avoid awkwardness even if it hurt me).

We had a small school break, and classes started again, and everything was fine, but Jane would increasingly act like I "owed her" various things. It started with photocopies of lab notes and escalated to her thinking we needed to "share" food that I would buy for myself (she could clearly buy and pay for her own). I obviously started putting up some boundaries (sadly I think a little too late?) and started branching out and talking to more people to put some distance. When people started approaching me more often, she commented that she was "surprised" that people would want to talk to me IN FRONT OF THE NEW PEOPLE I WAS TALKING TO. I honestly felt like I was at my breaking point. Up to that point, uni had been very stressful, and her constant negative comments were starting to mentally affect me, and this started triggering my panic attacks (I have an anxiety disorder). That same day, I went to eat lunch on my own; she followed me and got annoyed that I bought my own food. While I was trying to ignore her, another classmate (one of the few people I recently started talking to) joined me, and we started talking about books. Jane got a call, and it was hard to ignore that she was getting annoyed and angry at the caller. Once the call ended, we noticed she was agitated and tried to reassure her but she yelled, in front of everybody, at the classmate and when that classmate told her to not scream at her, Jane turned to me and screamed as if her issues with the caller and her subsequent angry response was my fault. Due to my panic and anxiety disorder, I just stared blankly at her, and because I didn't respond, she angrily told me she would be leaving to sit somewhere else. After Jane left, my classmate looked at me concerned and told me that she thought we were friends. I realized then that I let too many things slide, allowed myself to be walked over constantly and didn't push back enough. Because of this, I chose not to speak with her for the rest of the day and she would come up to me acting as if nothing happened. I remained polite and brief in my responses when she asked me things, but since I wasn't responding the way that I usually did, she would get in my physical space to force me to respond. I felt deeply uncomfortable, left uni earlier than I usually do and this was the last straw for me. This made me feel on edge, anxious about further confrontation and I started blaming myself for not stopping this sooner.

A day later, a professor we see often noted my demeanour and that I was now ignoring Jane. After class ended, I stayed behind (with the classmate that Jane also screamed at) to talk to our professor about the class, and Jane (acting like she had done nothing, no apology or anything) stayed at the door FOR AN HOUR. That professor told me Jane was likely waiting for me and that I should be "nice" to Jane because she seemed "vulnerable" and "nice". I didn't respond, but my classmate told her that Jane yelled at us and was NOT nice.

Anyway, after that interaction with the professor, I kept wondering if I was an AH for not wanting to continue talking to her or if I should ignore it and continue like nothing ever happened. AITAH?