TL;DR: My girlfriend (26F) and I (26M) have a great relationship, but we struggle with how we handle conflicts. After a stressful day and a series of misunderstandings, a fight escalated. I felt unheard, and her choice of words hurt me deeply. I decided to leave to cool off. Now, I’m wondering if I overreacted.

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. Our relationship is amazing overall, but our fights can be messy. We’ve both been working on improving how we handle disagreements. For example, she’s gotten better at telling me when she needs space rather than shutting me out, and I’ve been trying to pause conversations when I feel myself getting too heated. However, sometimes things still escalate.

Backstory: We only see each other on weekends since we live a bit apart, alternating who visits whom. This weekend, I visited her. At her place, there are a few habits I need to keep in mind, like cleaning up promptly or being extra careful with her bed frame, which wobbles and hits the wall because of my size. She’s reminded me about this a few times, and while I’ve improved, it still happens occasionally.

On my way to her place, she called me, stressed and teary-eyed. She had received a legal notice demanding money she doesn’t have, for something she claims she isn’t responsible for. I reassured her we’d handle it and started researching solutions online.

The Incident: The evening started off fine. At dinner, she asked me to put my phone away, as I’d been glued to it researching her legal issue. I agreed, apologizing and setting it aside. Later, when she went to the bathroom, I stepped outside for a smoke and got distracted reading comments online, staying out for 25 minutes. I felt terrible when I realized the time and apologized when I came back. She forgave me but was visibly upset.

The tension resurfaced when we went to bed. While brushing our teeth, I accidentally made the bed wobble again. She expressed frustration about how often she has to remind me to be cautious. I tried to explain, but she wasn’t receptive. While brushing, I pulled out my phone again to check comments. She snapped at me for not paying attention, and when I didn’t hear her question about the bed, she rolled her eyes and went to bed without saying more.

The next morning, I hoped we could resolve things. Instead, she was still annoyed and didn’t apologize for shutting me out. I tried explaining my perspective, but it turned into her defending her reaction, saying my apologies were late and insufficient. I felt unheard and, admittedly, started raising my voice. This cycle repeated throughout the morning, with me stepping out several times to calm down.

At one point, I expressed frustration about feeling like a bad person for minor mistakes, like accidentally wobbling the bed. She responded with, “Well, you make me seem like a whore.” That comment stunned me. I don’t know why she chose those words, but it hurt deeply.

I stepped outside, cried, and decided to leave. I told her we’d need to continue the conversation another day but that I was going home. Her comment left me feeling so uncomfortable and upset that I couldn’t stay.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for leaving?

Edit;. Formatting and changing parts to make them easier to read