Edit: A discussion has been had, she has agreed to find remote work and begin repaying money. She will care for the child only for a period of time in 2025 to be determined soon. I would again like to reiterate that the money was given with express communication on both sides that it would be repaid. It was not a gift.

Sorry for the long text wall, this is a culmination of years of crap.

I was dating a woman during the height of Covid, and I helped cover her rent a couple of other minor expenses during that time. The relationship progressed, and she had no job at the time and couldn't make rent, so she moved in with me in my state, she lives in the south of the U.S.

The relationship broke down, but I continued to let her live with me. During this time, she worked a tip based job and could never seem to get out of the hole of some of the debt she owed creditors. However, she also didn't clean the house at all, never helped pay for rent or bills, and I continued to pay her cell phone, Uber membership, Amazon charges, etc. I became increasingly frustrated, but her health was declining so I mostly kept it to myself.

Turned out she needed a hysterectomy, multiple surgeries to remove endometrial tissue, and her thyroid removed. She moved back down south to get this done since it was way cheaper, and is living with a family member. During this time I remained cordial, and never brought up the debt.

She recovered from her procedures. However, one of her friends who had just given birth had a mental breakdown, or some sort of serious health problem. The rest of her family refused to care for the child. So she began caring for the infant.

This was fine, but now she's talking about how she wants to keep the kid. Says the state will cover costs for general things for five years. I work retail, and don't make much money. She owes me over 20k in costs, not to mention I pulled out of crypto to pay her rent and lost out on the Doge boom back in the day. I would've made 150k. On top of this, I had to settle for a garbage car that has cost me thousands over time because I can't afford to get a better one. I feel I have sacrificed a huge chunk of my life and financial potential and got nothing in return.

Today I broached the subject gently of the progress of the mother, and she again mentioned keeping the kid for years. I have a one bedroom place and do not want a baby, and an additional adult in here, especially because my landlord specifies no children. I already bent the rules to allow her to have her dog in the unit when she was living here before. A dog whose surgeries have cost me over 5k with not a dime back to me as of yet.

I'm at my wit's end. I desperately need the money, bad. Plus it's just incredibly frustrating to have to keep bailing somebody out. What should I do? Do I go scorched earth and get angry, and insist she find another caregiver for the child? Or do I continue to just bite my tongue?