This sounds pretty self explanatory but hear me out. There was a recent family debacle, where a fist fight happened and someone was taken to jail over something so horrendously stupid. Anyway. I share no blame in this because I wasn’t present but was apparently brought up before/after the fight broke out. The fight was not even about me so I’m not sure how that happened as I was not there.

In any case, it’s been made clear to me that it is “my responsibility” to pay for everything for everyone in the family (the family I married into) because I make the most money and am the most well off (and I really don’t think I am that well off). I laughed at that notion because I don’t even talk to this “family” of mine because they’re narcissistic abusers and drug addicts and alcoholics. I am none of that. And they’ve done nothing to help me get where I am. Literally, they went out of their way to my life harder for several years before I went NC so I wouldn’t succeed. Well karma is a b. Look at me now 💁🏻‍♀️

I honestly think they see things I have like a travel trailer, my own house, 4 running vehicles, house has been undergoing pretty regular renovations, (and they know because they drive by and stalk our house periodically), and think I’m a millionaire or something. I don’t live in a fancy house. I don’t have fancy cars. I don’t spend money on anything that isn’t 100% necessary (yes we have 4 cars… 2 dailies (for spouse and me), 1 for my daughter, a truck for hauling/towing— everything has a purpose). None of these cars are new by any means, the newest is a 2018, the oldest a 2007. My house simply is old and needs a lot of work done so I’m getting it done.

I just choose to spend my money not on drugs and alcohol 🤷🏻‍♀️

They’ve also made strange comments to me in the past about how my pantry, fridge, and freezer look like a supermarket (because I’m always stocked on everything… grew up without food for many meals and many years so having food is a priority) and also about how I’ve made 529s for my kids. I just want my kids to have more opportunities than I had… which were none. Idk. But bringing it up to me as though I’m a snootie rich person and should be helping them have all the same things… even though I’m just living my life without them even in my mind most of the time.

I’ve let one of the aunts know (but am no contact with all the others for 3.5 years now, so I won’t be reaching out to them) that grandma and her druggie kids and grandkids aren’t my problem and that I will not be paying for anything for any of them. Grandma has two pensions and social security that her kids/grandkids suck dry every month. That’s not my problem. I work 2 full time jobs to be able to afford what I have, and if they want what I have, they can do the same. I will not be handing out my money, time, or resources to any of them. Like, they’ve heavily suggested in the past that I should be taking grandma to her appointments, should clean up her property (when they’re the ones who made it look like trash), and just so much more. Aunt wasn’t disagreeing with me, but I also know she’s bearing the weight right now of having to help out extra. But that’s her MOM. I’m not even blood related.

Does this make me an AH? I really don’t think so, but could probably use some validation. Or if I am and should be helping these grown 50s-60s year olds get their life together, please let me know because I just don’t see it.