Hi everyone, this is a new account I made for some reasons but also to just get away from my old one. So I 17F and my boyfriend 17M hung out recently and some context about me is that I can get emotional out of no where, if I feel like the same energy isn’t getting put in I retract, I had a horrible ex who only really wanted me for my body, I distance myself because I’m afraid of getting hurt, I don’t really have good self esteem, our relationship is kinda long distance, blah blah blah I know yall don’t want all of that and want into the story. So, basically me and my boyfriend hung out last weekend, it was really nice to see him again after 2 months, we hung out and watched some YouTube and a movie as well as caught up (And yk) .We had a good time, I was in a good mood and what not, I went home a day went by and it was going good I didn’t feel like I was over bearing like usual because we hung out and he actually showed that he likes me. But, Monday comes around, I ask him if he wants to call, no? That’s okay I’ll wait until later tonight, text him at like noon asking about his day, no answer, it was seen but no answer, I feel like a burden again and I feel myself closing off, maybe I’m over reacting, I text him again an hour after the last one, same thing, I do this a few more times except he’s no longer looking at them and they just say sent. I delete the texts and say never mind, that’s when he answers me, at this point it’s almost 5. He apologizes, he said he was busy, I get it I’m busy too… but 5 hours and 2 seen texts?

Also for those who think that this is a one time thing it’s not, I’ve talked to him about it in our year and a half of dating. I’m very open with him unless if I feel myself closing and clamming up, and sometimes when we call he just sits their and I try to be as happy as possible with him even if he’s not giving the same energy, then I just feel like I’m being annoying and he’s not actually paying attention, I feel like I’m not being seen or heard. And I’m not sure if that’s like the bare minimum or not, is it bad that I’m asking for that or is it too much? Because I know lives can be different but like when I had my 13-14 hour days at my school and for 2/5 days a week and 12 hour days the rest of the week I’d still try to be happy with him on call. Even if I had a horrible practice at color guard, or I get home at 9:30pm slightly bleeding because I hurt myself at robotics, or I’m back at home on a weekend at 10 tired and smelling of grease because I came straight from work. I know he has house chores to do and maybe school work but like… I’m in 2 very demanding after school activities plus a job and i still make time for him and try to be happy with him yk not make him feel like I’m not interested or even not wanted. I just want some type of equal energy put in, is that too much or should I talk to him again about it?

Sorry about the rant I just kinda need to get this off of my chest