As far as what’s relevant to this situation, i have been open about my past experiences with my bf about my ex where i would go through his phone (i know i know) and find he would watch a specific type of porn only. i would see timestamps showing that it would be right after we had sex he’d go to the “bathroom” for a while. so tbh, i really don’t like when my partners watch porn. i don’t want to go on a whole tangent about all the things i don’t like about it, so simply it is just a boundary that i have.

Me and my bf now have been friends for a while before dating. i also know that he had some seriously depraved sexual activities before meeting me. now, i’m going to try to tread lightly in hopes of not offending people or kink shaming. but my ex admitted in his teenage years he would do some messed up things like steal girls underwear, take pics of girls w/o them knowing, paying $ for explicit sites, etc. i myself was also a hypersexual child and have done things im not proud of, so i gave him the benefit of the doubt that he had changed.

Also important to note that my bf is someone who never really had luck with the ladies. Socially awkward, a shut in for 10 years who lives with his mom and only smoked weed and watched porn for all those years. Now that he met me he has changed a lot of his life around. So when we had sex for the first time, i was expecting him to finish quickly as he hadn’t had sex in 10 yrs. Welp i came to learn real fast that when it comes to sex with him, it can take hours. literal 3-5 hours of pure intercourse (w breaks ofc). now this hurt my ego a bit atm cos i thought something was wrong with me, but after talking to him we learned that he was death gripping his penis to all those years of porn, so a woman’s canal obviously does not squeeze as hard as a hand can. also he would watch porn for hours, so sex with a real woman was v different. also he’s been taking SSRIs forever so that would also contribute to this.

Even though it hurt my ego, i could tell it frustrated him much more, always saying things like “his penis doesn’t work”. I proposed the idea of not watching porn or jerking off for a couple weeks to see if it’d make a difference. So he agreed and we were still having problems. i went thru his phone one day and alas he hadn’t stopped watching porn, he w was still watching hours worth of it. i got upset and since then he had deleted those apps and said that he wanted to stop not just for me, but for himself. and we’ve been great since then. sex now only takes 30min-1hr.

Well this past month he’s been having issues finishing again. and i’ve been patient each week we try. but i got a gut feeling and went thru his phone again and welp there it was, all of this content. Now here comes the part where i hope i don’t offend anybody….

My bf watches a specific type of porn and ONLY that kind. i knew it was one of his kinks going into the relationship but i didn’t know it was the only thing he watched and seemed to get off on. It’s mommy/son incest content. to be clear these videos are strictly role play. and i was open to trying some role play, honestly i don’t care for it much but he seems to really enjoy it. the thing is though, i had this problem with my ex as well. he only really enjoyed humiliation/sissy role play and im all for pleasing my partner but, i cant just be doing one thing all the time to get them off, especially when it doesn’t get me off. so when i opened his phone and see nothing but milf and mommy content, it just breaks me. cos i’m just not that. i’m younger than him and none of those actresses look like me or anything. also weirdly enough i found AI content of a celebrity who doesn’t resemble me at all.

so now i’m stuck because i don’t know if im being unreasonable. unreasonable for expecting a man to not watch porn. do most guys just watch porn now? i know it can be an addiction. am i wrong for feeling hurt that this content is nothing like me? i feel like it’s not since he’s not finishing with me. it just makes me feel like im not enough. i also know i am very insecure, so maybe im just overthinking this because of my insecurities? i shouldn’t have gone thru his phone and i know that, i also felt like there was something deeper and when i found it my heart just dropped. i just don’t know.

TLDR; found explicit content in bfs phone of mommy/son incest role play, don’t know whether to just accept his kinks or feel offended that i’m not a milf