I’m 48 and my ex-wife and I divorced five years ago. We have one daughter together who’s 17. The divorce wasn’t messy. We’ve always kept things civil, mostly for her. We don’t hang out or anything, but we’re able to talk when needed and we’ve never had any huge fights post-divorce.

Recently, my ex got engaged and is planning a wedding for later this year. I knew she was seeing someone, and I’m genuinely happy for her. I’ve moved on too. There’s no bitterness on my end. But I was pretty surprised to find out I wasn’t invited to the wedding at all.

I didn’t expect to be a major part of it. I didn’t think I’d be walking anyone down the aisle or giving a speech or anything like that. But I assumed I’d at least be there as a guest, mostly to support our daughter. She’s at that age where life events are becoming more serious and emotional, and I figured she might want both her parents there, even if we’re no longer together.

When my daughter found out I wasn’t invited, she was really upset. She told her mom she didn’t feel right attending if I wasn’t allowed to be there. Apparently they had a pretty big argument about it. Her mom told her the wedding is a personal event and that she didn’t want “any bad energy” there. My daughter ended up telling her she wouldn’t go.

Now my ex is angry with both of us. She says I’m making her look bad and that I’ve somehow manipulated our daughter. That honestly stung. I never told her not to go. I never asked to be invited either. I just tried to be honest when my daughter asked me how I felt about it. I told her it hurt a little, but that it was her mother’s day and her choice. I tried to keep it neutral.

My daughter’s grandparents (her mom’s side) have reached out saying I should have told her to go anyway and that I’m being selfish. I didn’t mean for any of this to blow up. I’ve just been trying to respect everyone’s boundaries while still being honest.

AITAH?