my boyfriend posted about this situation about two weeks ago and the responses were interesting. i kinda wanna get feedback for my POV (thank you to everyone who commented though)

important context since he left this detail out of his post: i have chronic illness. it causes temperature sensitivities. i cannot tolerate heat. i will get dizzy, pale, and can pass out. me and extreme temperatures are the furthest from besties, and it can put me at risk of other complications

about two weeks ago, my boyfriend (24M) and i (24F) were in the shower together. we are a couple the jokes around a lot together. while in the shower, i jokingly made the water lukewarm maybe 2-3 times for a very short duration. i was standing directly under the shower head, and my boyfriend was on the other side sitting on the floor of the tub. parts of his feet/legs felt the temp change, but it wasn’t anything extreme. i would turn it to lukewarm (or to him, cold) for a few seconds, and then back to his preferred temperature

my boyfriend got up and tried to make the water 100% cold, but remembered that i grew up in an environment where hot water was a luxury we couldn’t always have lol. instead, he turns up the heat ALL THE WAY

his shower is not normal. his aunt jokes that you could cook chicken with how hot that water is. to say it was burning hot is an understatement. it truly is the equivalent of boiling water on the stove and letting it run through the shower head. that shit is HOT

he left the shower, and i felt like shit. i have history of SH and self-punishment, so i set the water hot again (not max heat, but enough for me to barely feel the pain in my shoulder). still working on this, but i admittedly internalize everything (unhealthy? yes. work in progress after 20+ years of people pleasing)

anyways, i couldn’t move my arm. i was in so much excruciating pain. unfortunately this happened during a period in which he had his kids, and his kids are always asking for me to pick them up. i can’t say no to them, so i can admit i didn’t help the pain, but he sleeps in til 1pm, so i kinda have no choice either

the next day, we had another situation after a conversation where i told him i felt seriously unappreciated. when he said “then leave” i took my things and left

i know my boyfriend didn’t do it to intentionally hurt me, but regardless of his intentions, he still hurt me. if he had done maybe less heat or super cold water, i would’ve been fine. stiff in the bones, but fine

AITAH for being upset that he burned my shoulder?