Background: I (20F) have a friend (20M) who I also work with. He is also a relief coordinator at our place of work. I have almost been at this company a full year. I have also been tower trained for about four months. He has been with the company for about two years, is also tower trained, and has been a relief coordinator for about 8 months. At our place of work, the seniority for the positions go (highest to lowest): Leader, status coordinator, relief coordinator, tower, then frontline.

On with the situation: Our place of work recently was saying that they were looking for more relief coordinators. So they put up a QR code to scan and fill out questions. So, I filled out the QR code and put in for it. The leaders then sent out an email, containing a list of all the people who put in to be a new relief cord, to all of the existing status and relief coordinators and asked them to vote yes or no on everyone and then say why or why not they should be a coordinator. Out of all the people that are currently status/relief coordinators. I was hoping that he would be the one person that I could count on saying yes. However, the other day randomly out of nowhere he mentions and says “hey by the way I voted no for you.” We weren’t talking about this subject at all and it was very random. At the time I was very busy because I was packing getting ready to head out of state for a few days.

Him and his girlfriend(one of my best friends) picked me up after I got back and we all went out to eat, along with another friend/coworker. We got on the topic about it again because the other coworker that joined us also put in for a relief coordinator. He mentioned that he also put no in for her. He asked us if we wanted to read the feedback on why he doesn’t think we should be a coordinator. She said yes and that she wanted to read it however, I said no I did not want to read it. After I said no, he kind of got defensive and almost upset that I wouldn’t read what he wrote. Later that night before he dropped me off at my apartment he asked again if I wanted to read it and again, I said no. I very much so want to know everyone’s feedback so that way I can use it to my advantage and try it and fix things that people think are some of my flaws. However, I was just kind of butt hurt and didn’t wanna read it at the time. The next day, I was still thinking about it, so I called that other friend that went to dinner with us, and I asked her for a summary of what he had wrote. She said that he had two things on there. One was that I had no manager experience prior to this. (Which he did not either when he became a relief cord this is his very first job and I have been working since I was 14) Second one was that he thinks I am a pushover/that people would walk all over me, I’m “too nice” and that I am not aggressive enough.

I am someone that needs to chat about things so that way they don’t build up. So I’ve been talking to other friends about this situation and they have disagreed with him saying that I am “not aggressive” and “a pushover”. They and myself think that I’m aggressive but in different ways than others. Our job has us working with a bunch of guests so instead of yelling at the guests right away, I try to explain the situation to a guest and help try and look at it through their eyes.

He’s a good friend, he’s really good at his job, and he’s a really good coordinator. However, I hate it when he is my coordinator because he tries so hard to not “play favorites” that he always ends up screwing me over. For example, we have a computer system that we pull assignments from. There’s been times where I get my only break an hour into my six hour shift and he refuses to move it because it might look like he’s “playing favorites”.

I can’t pinpoint why I feel so butt hurt. If it’s the fact that he said no to me being a coordinator and everybody else will see that, and everyone knows we’re friends so it’s kind of embarrassing that my own friend doesn’t think I’d be a good coordinator. Or if it’s the fact that, that’s how he sees me and my work ethic. One of the things I pride myself on is my work ethic and the fact that I do actually really like my job. Also, I know he’s not just saying no because I’m his friend because he did say yes to one of our other friends.

So, AITAH for being butt hurt? Also, please share any advice on what yall would do :)