I want to start by saying that I am very emotional and reactive so naturally I have that label in my family. Recently I’ve been trying to be aware of it and work on it. However, my family has a lot more drama of favoritism that I am not quite ready to talk about. Long story short, my mom told me she regrets having me (to her defense she was drunk) and she denies it to this day.

My daughter’s first birthday party (a day before her actual birthday) was a few days ago and my sister had a wedding already planned before I even set the date where her kids are part of the wedding party so she couldn’t go. I was upset and let her know. She just shrugged it off. My husband told me I was unfair for being upset. We moved on.

On the day of her actual birthday (the day after her birthday party and the wedding) my sister asked if she could come over to sing happy birthday (my idea and I got another cake so that they could come and sing to her). They were all here talking about the wedding. No gift no card. Her husband left immediately when her and my nieces and nephews got here to go to work. I made a bad comment when I said “here’s your shit side of the family” my sister got upset and started crying. I apologized and expressed my feelings. She said that it is hard to be there for my daughter because I am so uptight. She said she doesn’t even know what to get her because I’m so anal. I explained that although I try to avoid microplastics and all of the typical stuff in kids clothing and toys I can’t control what other people get her and wouldn’t expect anyone else to be as crazy as I am. She has all sorts of toys that I simply just rotate. So I apologized. No apologize from her or acknowledgement.

That conversation did not sit well with me because I felt like she never takes accountability for her part and felt like she still didn’t make an effort. So I texted her about it. I confronted her about looking at wedding pictures with everyone in the living room while my daughter and I were in the room playing while everyone else was in the living room talking about the wedding on her actual birthday. She got upset and accused me of not getting her youngest a gift for his birthday and said I don’t do “crap” and treat my daughter as a priority and she never complains. I got upset and called her a liar for saying that I don’t do anything for her kids. I did miss a lot for the first two kids birthdays before I had my child because I traveled a lot for work but I would take days off of the month to travel across the country to spend days with them and shower them with gifts (often totaling over $700 but that’s besides the point). I went to all of their birthdays this year now that I am not working, bought the first two gifts while unemployed and cleaned and decorated her apartment for the youngest birthday so I am angry because that’s not fair for her to say that I didn’t do anything. I am upset and my husband says I am the issue but I don’t think so. I feel like my daughter is always being put on the back burner and it enrages me. My husband says that I have unrealistic expectations and cannot get angry at it. I just want to cut them all off. I just need to hear if from someone else I guess. Ugh rant over. Sorry