AITAH for breaking down me and my girlfriend's bedroom door when she locked it during a fight?

So I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for over a year now, and things have been really off lately. She’s been acting distant, always on her phone, being secretive, avoiding me, and I’ve asked her about it. Every time, she blows me off and gets defensive, telling me I’m just being paranoid. But I know when something’s wrong, and I don’t think I’m crazy. I’ve had relationships before, and when someone starts hiding things from you, it’s because they have something to hide.

A couple of nights ago, we had an argument. It was about something small, me asking her to pick up after herself more around the house. She always acts like she’s too busy to do anything, and it’s getting old. Anyway, she flips out on me, says I’m controlling and making her feel like she’s walking on eggshells, and then she storms off into the bedroom and locks the door. I wasn’t even yelling or anything. I was just trying to talk.

I was pissed at that point. I don’t know why she thinks she can just lock me out when I’m trying to have a conversation with her. We’re supposed to be in this together. So I knocked. She didn’t answer. I knocked harder, called her name. Nothing. Then I hear her texting someone inside. That just set me off. I’ve asked her a million times to be open with me, and she keeps shutting me down, acting like I’m some crazy guy for just wanting transparency.

So, yeah, I kicked the door in. It wasn’t to hurt her, I just wanted to talk. I needed her to stop avoiding me, to stop hiding. When the door came down, she flipped out, started crying, and said I was "abusive" and "scary." She accused me of trying to control her. I told her if she didn’t want to talk, then don’t lock me out. She needs to respect me and not shut me out like that.

Now she’s staying at her sister’s and saying I’m "too much" and "toxic." Our friends are telling me I went too far, but I just don’t get it. She’s the one who’s been secretive, shutting me out, acting like I’m the problem. I’ve tried to be patient with her, but I can’t keep letting her treat me like this.

So, AITAH for breaking down the door? Or is everyone else overreacting?