My boyfriend and I will be making 5 years this summer. He is 26, I’m 25. He will also be moving out alone around that time for couple of months while I will be moving in with him some time in the winter time (he asked for this time alone as he is coming out of living with an abusive father and needs time on his own.)

Our relationship has had its ups and downs and we have had to go through a lot of couple therapy. Every year leading up to this year he has always said he doesn’t feel “ready” to propose as we have arguments and that there shouldn’t be issues happening in a relationship. My bf is an avoidant so absolutely despises arguments and sees fighting as dealbreaker for a relationship. Our recent argument has been about his family uninviting me from a family trip and him being mad at me taking some space from his family due to feeling being hurt by it.

We’re now almost to hit 5 years and he is stating that if I’m not in a good place with his family (essentially forgive them and talk to them after uninviting me to their family trip) then this relationship isn’t going to lead to proposal as family everything to him and says no one is ok to propose to a gf who is not seeing his family.

Now I have been very upfront with him. I will take however long I need to feel comfortable being around his family again. However, At this point I’m ready to break up with him for sure if I I don’t get a commitment from him after 5 years of being his girlfriend. He states he’s in no timeline, and that what matters are feelings and not how long people have been together. I told him it’s not a timeline for him, but my timeline.

I believe at this point he should know whether or not I’m his person or not and arguments can be resolved as every relationship will never be perfect. I am also not a very healthy personal physically so having children is something difficult for me so I am no longer waiting. I’m very excited for my journey to restart again if I don’t get proposed to. I guess this is more for reassurance on how to break up with him once the time comes.