I (25M) was in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for 1 year and 8 months. We were serious—we were even talking about getting married. I genuinely loved her. I gave her my time, energy, effort, money, and most of all, my heart.

But over time, she started wanting me to change. Not little things, but core parts of my personality. She didn’t like how I handled situations, how I expressed myself, or how I chose to live. She wanted a different version of me—someone I simply wasn’t. I tried to compromise and meet her halfway, but I couldn't keep pretending to be someone else just to make the relationship work.

I told her that if she loved me, she should love me for who I am, not who she wanted me to be. But she insisted that unless I changed, things wouldn’t work. So I ended it. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I still haven’t healed from it.

To make things worse, I also recently had a falling out with my best friend of 6 years. She got into an argument with someone, and I tried to de-escalate the situation. I told her she was wrong and that the other person was right, and I couldn’t defend her just for the sake of loyalty when I knew she wasn’t being fair. She got angry, cut me off completely, and even told her family I’ve “never had her back.”

So now, I’ve lost both my girlfriend and my best friend—two people I gave so much of myself to. I’m being called selfish and “not loyal,” but all I’ve ever done is try to stay true to who I am and stand up for what’s right.

So… AITAH for breaking up with someone I loved because I couldn’t keep changing who I am, and for not blindly defending my best friend when I felt she was in the wrong?