I (27F) recently called off my wedding to my fiancé (29M) just two weeks before our big day. I feel like I’m in the middle of a crazy soap opera, and honestly, I’m still in shock.

We’ve been together for almost three years, and I thought everything was perfect. We’ve talked about our future, about buying a house, and even starting a family. I thought we were on the same page about everything, and I was genuinely excited to get married. That is, until I found out that he’d been secretly sending money to his ex for months without telling me.

It all started a couple of weeks ago when we were having a casual conversation about finances. I asked if he had any savings or debts that I should be aware of before we merged our finances. He hesitated for a moment, then said everything was fine. But there was something off about the way he was avoiding eye contact.

I’ve always trusted him, but something made me curious, so I decided to look through his bank statements. What I found left me absolutely horrified. Over the past 8 months, there were multiple large transfers to his ex-girlfriend. The same ex that he had broken up with a year before we started dating.

When I confronted him about it, he initially tried to deny it, but I had proof. He finally admitted that he had been sending her money to help her “get back on her feet” after her “rough breakup.” Apparently, they’d been “talking” on and off for months, and he didn’t think it was a big deal since “it was just money.”

I felt completely betrayed. I couldn’t believe it. He knew how important financial transparency was to me, especially when we were about to get married. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about it, and he said, “I didn’t want to worry you,” and that it was just “helping out an old friend.”

I was furious, but also confused. Why wasn’t he telling me this? Why was he still helping her when we had been talking about marriage and a future together? Was I not enough?

Things escalated quickly from there. He begged me to forgive him, saying that he was just being “nice” and that he “didn’t think it meant anything.” But when I kept pushing for answers, he started getting defensive, saying that I was being “ridiculous” and that “I should trust him.”

I told him I couldn’t marry someone who still had unresolved feelings for their ex. How could I marry him when he was giving her money and trying to keep it a secret? How could I trust him with anything in our future?

Then, to make matters worse, he started accusing me of being “too controlling” and “paranoid.” He told me that I was overreacting and that his ex “needed help.” At this point, I couldn’t even process what he was saying.

I made the decision to call off the wedding. It wasn’t just the money — it was the fact that he had kept something this important from me. The trust was broken, and I just couldn’t move forward.

Now, my friends and family are split. Some think I did the right thing, but others say I overreacted. His ex is even sending me texts now, calling me a “jealous control freak” and saying I’m “ruining everything” for them. I’ve even had people from his side of the family accuse me of being “too dramatic” and “making a mountain out of a molehill.”

I can’t stop thinking about everything, and I feel like I might have ruined my future with him over something that he doesn’t think was a big deal.

AITAH for calling off my wedding after my fiancé revealed he’s been secretly sending money to his ex?