Alright, let me break this down for y'all. I’m [34F], and I’ve chosen to not have kids. My older sister, who’s 36, is a busy mama to six little ones – they’re all pretty young, ranging from 8 to a baby, so you can only imagine the chaos in her house. Now, we’re a loving family, and we usually vibe well, but the other day things got a little heavy, and I'm still processing it.

So there I am, chillin’ at my sister's place, just vibing with some gospel music playing in the background. She’s cooking up some fish, and everything feels good. I see my cute 4-year-old niece getting a little too rambunctious in her big sister's room, playing with dolls, and my sister calls her out to come back. That’s totally normal parenting stuff.

Outta nowhere, my niece gets mad and throws the remote at my sister! Now, in my mind, I’m just thinking, “Okay, maybe the kid didn't really mean it.” But then, my sister picks up my niece, puts her in a chair, and says she’s gonna “pop” her hand for that behavior. She goes on to explain to my niece it’s about teaching her not to hit and that she doesn't want her to make it a bad thing where she consrantly does it. Then she pops my niece's hand, and honestly, I could tell it broke her heart. She said, “Sorry mommy,”.

Once my niece leaves the room, I can’t help myself. I tell my sister that hitting her kids is wrong, like, straight-up abuse. I mean, we’ve all seen those headlines about discipline crossing a line, right? I suggested talking to her instead, using some gentle parenting. It felt like the right move to me.

Her response was calm, but she hit me with this: "I try gentle parenting, but it doesn’t always work. They gotta learn consequences early.” Now, I respect her as a mom, she does have her kids in check, and they’re usually really well-behaved, but I can’t shake the feeling that hitting them just isn’t the way.

So, I come back home to my husband, and I’m all wound up. I tell him what happened, expecting him to back me up, and he drops this on me: "Sometimes you gotta leave it alone. Parents have their own ways.” I start feeling conflicted, wondering if I overstepped. My sister’s a good mom, her kids are sweet, but why does hitting feel wrong to me?

Now I’m left here questioning everything. Did I overstep? Am I the ahole for speaking up? I don’t wanna ruin my relationship with her, but I also can’t pretend that was okay. So, AITAH for calling her out?