I, 22f, and my fiancé, 23m, have been engaged since December 2024. Originally we had planned for our wedding to be May 4th, 2026 but recently decided to cancel everything and I have been told I'm throwing a tantrum over it.

I am the 2nd of 7 while my fiance is the eldest of 13, soon to be 14, and we have a 2 year old daughter because of this we didn't want children at our wedding, excluding our siblings. So, we set an age limit and let our friends and family know that no one under 16 should be coming to our wedding unless they're our siblings or child. Everyone said it was unfair and ridiculous to have an age limit as we are excluding people from coming. We changed it to 14 to try and appease those people, however that didn't work. At my grandmother's birthday we ended up chatting about my wedding and I was told by my parents and grandmother that we shouldn't have an age limit at all while my aunt and uncle were completely on board with the idea even though their kids wouldn't be coming. After the party, my fiance and I spoke and decided to cancel the wedding all together and now I'm being told, mainly by my mother, that I'm throwing a huge tantrum.

This is all after I was screamed at by my mother for wanting to look at wedding venues a year and a half ahead of my wedding date because my older sister's wedding was first and she hadnt found a venue yet. It wasn't the only time i wasn't allowed to do something because of my older sister, it seemed my parents always thought she needed to do things first simply because she's a year older than I am. And if my sister couldn't do it on her own, I was the automatic helper of her with everything.

But am I the ass? I don't think I am but others seem to differ.