For contexts: My mother and I (17) have always had a rough relationship and have never truly gotten along. When I had gotten pregnant it was due to 🍇 and I have to go to court often to deal with the whole issue. When my mother gets upset with me she often likes to say things like “well you shouldn’t have had your legs left open” knowing the true and full story with plenty of evidence as well. She’s only been helpful during my pregnancy when it conveniences her in some way like getting to see the ultrasound scan or taking parenting classes with me to earn money in return. Things like that. She constantly holds it over my head that she does so much for me and I don’t have the right to disrespect her when I’ve set boundaries for my WHOLE family including kissing my twins when they are born or asking them to simply wash their hands before touching them till they build an immune system.

My sister on the other hand has had a kid more recently while my mother had me last, so 17 years ago. I also now as we’ve gotten older grown fairly close to my sister on my fathers side. My mother has never respected her or been very kind to my sister. My sister also has never liked my mother and even does anything to stay away from her when she comes to pick me up to see her. I asked her today if she’d still be willing even if she has to see my mother in the process if she’d be in the delivery room instead of my mother but I didn’t even say instead I just mentioned my mother would be in the waiting room so they’d most likely have to speak at some point. She said she’d love to be there for me and that, that day is my day so she’ll do whatever I’d like and be there if I want her there.

I mentioned it to my mother early on (I’m 18 weeks with twins) because I’m not sure when I’ll have them because twins can be unpredictable and arrive early and I also didn’t want it to be a surprise when I ask the doctor to not allow her in the room for my delivery since she is there for my appointments and would be the one taking me to the hospital as well since I live with her.

My text to her stated: “Jsyk I’m having sister’s name be in the delivery room when I do give birth however and whenever I do. She said if she has to she’ll take off work and come down here immediately”

And her response was: “I’m done talking to you. Do what you want and I’ll do what’s required of me. The way you’re treating me is wrong and I deserve better. I will fix the things in the house and get it up to par because it needs to be done anyways but you’re hateful and inconsiderate of my feelings but yet you expect me to consider yours. That’s your choice to make and I wish you the best. But leave me be and don’t keep going. Don’t expect more from me either. I’ve done more than most parents would in my position with the things I’ve been through with you. But you are too selfish to see it. After this text I’m blocking you.”

Extra context: I’ve been struggling with high bp and pulse rate issues since being pregnant that could also turn into preeclampsia which could possibly put me into premature labor which is super high risk at my stage and have been trying to be calm but often she stresses me out more and makes it worse which makes me feel even more stressed that it could effect my children. I didn’t want her in the room as well because she makes almost everything about her and minimizes most of my pains or problems and then talks about how much worse she’s had it. It really would invalidate my experience while my experience is meant to be the best of my life. It’s supposed to be the happiest moment of my life but she makes it more about her. Ofc there are two sides of every story and I’m almost certain hers would be my decision is selfish and inconsiderate and that she’s done so much for me but truly she won’t see it my way and see what all she could do to help instead so AITAH for choosing to have my sister inside the room instead of my mother?