Backstory: A few years ago my wife had an emotional affair and I essentially shamed her until she left me. She first said 50/50 custody but when she learned I didn’t have as much money as she thought, she went scorched earth and tried to take custody of current 8yr old and used 2 of our 3 older children to speak against me in court. If it wasn’t for my third kid, Sarah, to speak on my behalf… I would have been cooked. I have 50/50 now.

Even 50/50 has been hard especially on holidays … and summers when we switch every 2 weeks.

Current: I work from home. My exwife has an office job and sometimes that means my 8 yr old daughter stays with me longer. Usually though my exwife gets one the 2 older kids to watch her rather than let her come to dads or see my more. My ex is petty and wants to be seen as home base so she can eventually get my 8 yr old to choose her in the later yrs.

I always kept the door open for reconciliation with the 2 adult kids but it’s hard to swallow when they help my ex wife keep my 8 yr old from me for weeks at a time.

Fast fwd: Sarah, who always stuck with me, and I, had a disagreement of sorts because I wouldn’t allow her to let the maid do her laundry and dishes while she doom scrolls all day at 22 with no job … after totaling the new bmw I got her last yr.

We are on good terms but Sarah has just now moved in with my exwife and my ex is offering to help her get an old used car but the stipulation is that Sarah watches my 8 yr old this summer while she works… instead of coming to my house.

This has devastated me… Not only because I won’t see my 8 year old but that Sarah would do this and essentially can be bought. She was sympathetic during the past few yrs but now is the cause of the pain IMO.

Everyone says that my kids are my kids and to look past the many immature decisions they make… but I feel this is a life altering decision and negatively affects my 8 yr old (another story). I feel she is blocking me from would-be dad time.

AITAH for telling her that if she’s considering watching my daughter during the summer, that she should lose my number for good???