I’m sorry this is quite long but some back story was needed to see what led up to my decision.

I (28f) recently cut my sister off. I would like to preface this by saying, my sister and I have had quite a history. I grew up with my dad, because my home life with my mom was traumatic and not a good environment for a child. My sister, grew up with our mom(we have different dads).

She overdosed once while she was living in Florida with her boyfriend. She asked me if I would help her get out of her living situation by taking her and her boyfriend in. My then boyfriend, now husband and I agreed. We let them live with us in our one bedroom apartment, giving up our living room for them. Her boyfriend soon got a job and was helping us with the bills, however my sister traded heroin for alcohol and this was becoming a problem because we were constantly arguing and all of us being in such tight quarters was also leading to fights between my partner and I. My partner and I had the opportunity to move into an apartment upstairs from his parents and we basically gave my sister and her boyfriend our apartment. Soon after, my sister and her boyfriend relapsed on heroin and then soon became homeless. At that point we were not willing to help them because they were in active addiction again.

A year or so passed and my sister and her boyfriend claimed they were clean again. At this point my partner and I moved into a new apartment and my sister asked if they could stay with us again because the person they were living with kicked them out. She claimed that they were planning on leaving to go back to Florida in the next week or so.

Two weeks had passed and the stress of having 2 people to financially support started weighing in my mental health. I got home after a 12 hour shift and all I wanted was to eat dinner and go to sleep. When my partner and I were about to walk out of the door to go get a quick dinner, my sister called me into her room. I was very annoyed because I had a bad day at work. I walked into their room and asked what she wanted. She asked me to call an ambulance. I asked her why (she was very dramatic and everything with her has always been more than it was). She said she needed me to call an ambulance because she was on fentanyl. I looked at both of them and said “you’re both out of my house.” And walked outside to call an ambulance.

Her boyfriend was upset with her because she had told me they were still using and now they didn’t have a place to stay. I called our mom and started bawling on the phone to her and told her what was happening. As we were waiting for the ambulance my sister kept trying to follow me around and was screaming in my face that she was sorry and that she didn’t want to lose me. At this point I was livid, not only did she lie to me about being clean, she used me for a free place to use drugs. I told her that if she didn’t leave me alone I was going to punch her in the face (I know I was in the wrong for this). She yelled “I’m sorry” in my face again and I cocked my fist back and luckily, my partner was there to stop me or I probably would’ve been arrested.

By the time the ambulance came, her boyfriend had already left. The ambulance took her to the hospital where she met up with her boyfriend. After a few days she contacted me and asked me if I would drive her to a van that was going to take her to rehab. I agreed and ever since then she has been clean. Me and my partner were the only ones who visited her while she was at her halfway house and we again let her stay with us for a week before she moved in with my mom in North Dakota.

Let’s jump to 5 years later. My sister ended up getting back with that same boyfriend and moved him from Florida to North Dakota. A year or so later he lost his fight with addiction and my sister woke up to him dead next to her.

My partner (now husband), and I allowed her to move back in with us. We didn’t expect her to pay bills or anything while she got back on her feet. She got a job about a month or so later and at the same time, my husband and I closed on our house. She was helping with bills now and we were allowing her to use our cars to get back and forth to work. After a while that became an issue because she started acting as though she co-owned our cars. My husband got fed up and traded his motorcycle and some cash to boot for a car for her, with the agreement she would pay him back.

She then quit her job and was not able to pay bills or pay my husband for the car. We understood her reasoning and we for the most part didn’t give her a hard time for not contributing to the house bills or paying for the car. She then got a new job and a few months later moved into her own place.

Now let’s jump to the present. My husband and I have struggled with fertility for about 6 years. I have PCOS and it has been a very hard journey. My sister ended up pregnant from a one night stand with someone who lived out of state. The day she found out she said “I didn’t want this. I don’t think I can keep it.” Which pissed me off because she knows what we have been through. She even had the audacity to say “maybe you me and your husband can raise the baby and your husband can be the dad.” She got mad at me for being upset about this statement.

The dad of the baby didn’t want anything to do with the baby and this was hard for her. A couple months into her pregnancy we have had quite a few arguments. The arguments usually ended if her calling me a bitter bitch because she got pregnant and I couldn’t because I didn’t care that her boobs were changing or her calling me a shitty sister because I didn’t give her good enough advice about her quitting vaping while she was pregnant.

February of this year, my sister came to my husband and I and asked us to adopt her baby once he was born. Because she wasn’t able to financially or emotionally take care of him (she had just gotten broken up with from a guy she was dating for a week and was manic). My husband and I both told her that she needed to think about this before she came to us because it would ruin our relationship if she wasn’t 100% sure or if she retracted later on. However, my husband and I were excited about this because of our struggle conceiving. My sister knew our struggles and even went to some of my appointments with me when we were trying IVF. She assured us that this is what she wanted and she even had us go to my husband’s family’s house and sit everyone down and tell them that we were going to adopt her baby.

A couple weeks passed and we had many conversations, going over our concerns and what we wanted and vise versa. Then it came to she didn’t know if she could watch him grow up calling someone else mom and that she was considering open adoption through an agency. At this point I took a step back to save my own heart.

A week or so later she got into a new relationship and posted a bumpdate on Facebook. I messaged her and told her that I was blocking her on social media and that she could still text me, but she probably wouldn’t get a response because I needed to protect myself. She told me that I was fine that I blocked her on social media and that she was going to block my number.

I then confided in my husbands family (they thought of her like family as well) and told them what was going on and told them that I didn’t expect them to cut her off because I knew they were close but I didn’t want to have a relationship with her and that I didn’t want them to give her updates on me because it is none of her business. To this day, I have not talked to her and my husband’s family for the most part has cut her off as well.

AITAH for cutting my sister off?