Redditors something has been weighing on my conscience and need an outside perspective on this. I knew my friend, let us call her L, since last 9 years. We met as international students in a new country and were solid rock for each other for the years to come. She originally comes from a muslim majority country where women's rights are a big joke. I come from a similar culture as well. One time she went to her home country and suddenly got arranged married (background she lost her father when she was very young, her paternal family got her the match). The guy she married, K, was a canadian citizen, divorced and already had a child from the previous marriage which he had no contact with, paid no child support or alimony. From this point i will be a bit vague becuase i do not wish to out myself or the said friend. K and L's relationship has been downright abusive from day 1 with incidents including - martial rape, financial abuse (K does not contribute to the household and their child's expenses except for rent), K refuses to take a better job even though he is offered one without applying or interviewing becuase nobody questions him at his current job and he can come and go as he pleases, Kcheated on L when she was pregnant, after some time again asked L to get tested as he was scared he was having an STD, again cheated on L and when she left to stay with her extended family, he started selling their apartment furniture on FB marketplace when L came back seeing this he flee their home from his backyard. He went to his home country and emptied his canadian bank accounts.

He and L'in laws then started pressuring her to come to their islamic home country if she wanted the relationship else they would apply for seperation.

In the meantime, she had finally moved to a transition home and made police complaints in canada and was finally starting to look for a way out of this toxic relationship.

One thing to note here is that K would inappropriately touch his own 3 year old son. L found one day that after K gave his son a bath he was massaging his 0elvis area to see if the 3 year old's penis would get erect.

L told this to someone i guess and that someone made a complaint to CPS.

Then K comes back to canada, speaks god knows what to L getting her frightened that CPS would take the child away. L then decided to dray with K because she did not want to fight her whole life with K in shared custody and cannot live without her son even for "half a day".

She is one of those moms, who have not recieved any love from her husband and her whole life revolves arround the 3 years old. That child has not been to day care because she feels like this is the time that the son needs her the most. K is not willing to spend the money for a good day care and the ones she can afford are "not good ones". This means she stays at home and has no job and no emplyable skills.

Also the child is so dependent on her that he does not know how to play with the kids his age, and if she goes out of the room for 2 mins, the chold starts screaming bloody murder.

I am not a MOm but i know that this situation even with the child is totally fucked up and living in an abusive relationship because you cant stay without your baby for half a day is just .... arrgghhhj i dont even know what to write thsi is so frustrating.

Anyway, when she last told me that she has decided to continue with her POS husband, i lost my shit! I cannot, time on again, be her listening ear if she has no resolve to change her situation. I understand that life has done her bad and her problems are big but that does not undermine my own challenges.

It takes so much mental peace away everytime she comes to me and tells me K did something hurtful again and now that i know he was being inappropriate with a CHILD, I see her just as a person who is allowing an innocent to be in a sexually abusive environment and that is not a person i can call a friend!

I told her she can be with her husband but i want no part in her life. I told her that she does not want my help but only my sympathy and i have none more to give. ..

It weighs on my sould that i abandoned her in such terrible conditions, she is like a sister to me. But honestly, whenever all this comes to my mind i feel a rage inside me.

So reddit, AITAH?