to start, I am 17F. I turn eighteen later on this year. this all started in 2023, when my parents told me they’d be getting a divorce after my mom cheated on my dad with a woman she met online. we were living in my grandma’s house at this time, and my grandma was previously in contact with my mom (her daughter) and my dad, (her son in law.) my grandma moved out in 2022, and since then she’s been sending bits of money to help out with groceries and utility bills since our house was paid off. i had always been close to my grandma because my parents had been taking my sister (11F) and i to her house since we were little. even after she moved, i still maintained contact with her, and she would send me money on holidays to compensate for not giving gifts, and maybe once or twice a month just to be nice. resuming from my parents getting a divorce, my mom moved her partner into the house five months after she initially separated from my dad (separated june 2023, moved in october 2023.) my dad was still living at home at this time because he was diagnosed with cancer, and was on leave from his job. my dad is 45, and he was reluctant to move back in with his family. that means that now, it was me, my sister, my dad, my mom, my mom’s girlfriend and our pets all living in the house. my dad let my mom take the bedroom while he slept in my grandmother’s old room.

it went on like that until july of 2024, when my dad went into remission and moved back in with my grandpa (his dad), uncle and aunt. before and after my dad moved out, my mom had been making comments and showing aggression towards him even when he was weak and barely had any energy to fight back at all. she once yelled at him for using an air fryer because she was the one who bought it. my mom’s girlfriend also showed aggression towards my dad, yelling at him and recording him every time he would raise his voice even a little bit. there was a time where my mom locked my dad out of the house and the police had to come. after my dad had officially moved out, it was just my sister, me, my mom and her girlfriend. my grandma heard about this and took my dad’s side, seeing and hearing how my mom treated him. my grandma is bordering 70 years old and she also wants to move back into her house, which we are currently occupying. my grandma and my mom tried to patch things up, but my mom was very offended that my grandma had taken my dad’s side, and my grandma was offended that my mom was acting the way she was. they cut each other off after that.

it’s been almost a year now, and in that timespan my mom still hates my dad, my grandma and my mom still aren’t speaking, and my sister and i are caught in the middle. i’d just like to say, i don’t know what happens behind closed doors, but i’ve heard my mom speak horribly about my dad and my grandma many times mostly to me, whereas i’ve never heard my dad or grandma speak about my mom. at this point, i’m not working anymore and since my grandma knows that, she sends me a little bit of money weekly in case i want to go shopping or get food. i usually save most of it, but sometimes i use it to go out with friends. my mom knows about this, and she has told me many times that she doesn’t want me speaking to my grandma anymore, and she’d prefer it if i didn’t speak to my dad either. i visit my dad twice a month, but we text regularly.

throughout all of this, i’ve found myself extremely depressed. my attendance and grades are horrible, i can barely get out of bed most days and i barely eat either. my friends have been a great help and i really love them and how understanding they are, but i felt as if i was at a dead end. i’m supposed to graduate this year but i’m missing a credit and now i’m scrambling which just adds to the stress i’m under. my mom usually gets upset with me when i don’t get out of bed in the mornings, but she never questions why. two days ago, my vice principal called her and told her if i didn’t get this credit, i wouldn’t be graduating. when i got home from school that day, she flipped out on me and i cried a lot. i didn’t know how to even put into words what i was feeling but i tried. i told her how much the divorce affected me, and how her moving in her partner and forcing a whole new mother onto me while my dad was struggling with cancer hurt me, and i just poured everything out. she responded to this with telling me that she was depressed as well and that she deals with so many things i don’t know about. she was still yelling at me while saying all of this, and i was sobbing at this point, still in my uniform and everything. at the end of her talk, she said that the fact that i still speak to my dad and grandma adds to her depression, and if i didn’t cut them off then she didn’t want to speak to me anymore. i think this was posed as some kind of test, and that she expected that i would cut them off and stay with her, but my dad and grandma are my only family left, and i don’t want to cut them off. i tried to ask her why she was so upset with them but she just asked why i didn’t care enough to do it without question. i walked away from her after that, packed a bag full of clothes and essentials and took an uber to my best friends house, where i’ve been staying since this fight. i haven’t spoken to my mom, dad or grandma. i love my mom, but i also love the rest of my family. i don’t know what to do, but i feel bad for leaving my sister, but i feel like i’m in such a bad state right now that facing my mom seems like the biggest obstacle in the world.

i’m sorry if this story is very scattered, i just really don’t know what to do and i’m at a crossroads. if anyone has an opinion but needs more details, i can provide those.