Hi guys,

My (34f) husband (33m) of 8 years has had a drinking problem that has worsened since our son was born just over a year ago. We went couples' counseling where he agreed he would stop drinking, prompted by my request when he left me and my 4-month-old son to go on a bender for two weeks. He left abruptly/unplanned and drunk drove through the mountains for 13 hours to visit his brother. He ran out of gas and had to be picked up by said brother 10 hours into his drive. While he was away, he said he was drinking a fifth a day. Upon returning from his bender, he didn't drink for 3 months, but started abusing a new Adderall prescription.

Two days after Christmas (three months after the bender), our son got RSV and had to go to the emergency room and then stay in PICU for a week. My husband showed up to PICU drunk to the point where the nurses noticed something was off. During this time, he demanded a divorce, said he was going to take our son half the time, and move out of the house. He also said I made him want to kill himself. He screamed at me in his car and punched the steering wheel. This happened several times during my son's stay in the PICU.

Once my son got out of PICU, I was scared and filed for divorce and motion to suspend custody. Before filing, I asked my husband multiple times if he would consider going to rehab, but every time he said no.

After filing for divorce, we were required to go to court where they granted the motion to suspend custody. Since then, he has gotten a DUI and still refuses treatment.

Lately, he has started saying I'm a monster for destroying our family and that I shouldn't have filed for divorce while he was in an alternate state of mind. He said he didn't actually want to get divorced and didn't remember anything from being blacked out at the PICU.

I know that he has a problem, but I wonder if I should have waited to file for a divorce since he was on another bender when I filed. AITAH?