So I (18F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for two years. He’s in college now and I’m finishing high school, so to spend more time together I decided to get a job where he already works. The issue that started this fight happened to days ago. For context, I have been super blonde my entire life, and it’s always been a big part of my identity and something I have always gotten compliments on. But I wanted to make a big change and decided to dye my hair a dark brown. I think it looks great and everyone else I’ve talked to is surprised by the change, but says it looks good on me. So my boyfriend and I have an ongoing bit where we don’t tell each other when we get haircuts or make other changes so the other one is surprised, we have both done this multiple times. So he did not know I was changing my hair, and the first time I was going to see him was at work. I came into the office where he and a lot of our coworkers were gathered and went up to him. He was super surprised, and at first just said “oh wow.” Our other coworkers who were part of the conversation complimented me. But when I directly asked my boyfriend what he thought, he literally said in front of everyone “I don’t really like it, your blonde hair looks better.” Our other coworkers around were surprised and tried to treat it as if he was joking and reassure me that they liked it. After work I told him that what he said hurt me, he said that he was just shocked I made such a huge change without “consulting” him.

He’s never acted controlling about my appearance before and has himself dyed his hair without telling me. I know this might not seem like a huge deal but the fact that he just straight up insulted me in front of so many of our coworkers feels so rude. Even if he did like the blonde better is it to much to ask that he be nice about it? And it’s not like I did anything crazy my hair is still a natural color. I just need advice, is this worth even talking out? I thought we could build a future together but now I don’t know. Did I take it too far?