This occurred a few weeks ago but I am curious to see what others think. My bf and his brother are helping renovate a house with their friend so the plumbing is not functional.

As males they are able to go around the side of the house to “relieve themselves.” We had been here for a few hours and I told my bf I needed to go home and he asked why and I didn’t want to say I had to use the bathroom (as in more than pee) in front of everyone so I said “because I need to go home can you please hurry and take me.” I live about 5/7 minutes away from where we were.

He tells me they are about done with what they have to do for today and let him load his tools up and then we can go. I was ok with that and the weather had gotten a bit chilly so I wrapped myself in a blanket and went to wait in my car in the front passenger seat and ended up falling asleep.

I woke up to the my bf loading his tools and was still groggy when he got in the drivers seat. He was telling me he was going to have to go into work and do some maintenance and I asked him what all that entailed meaning time and how long he would be there and he said he didn’t know the specifics and he was waiting to hear from his boss. I nodded and asked if we were leaving and he said yea soon and I said I need to go home I have to use the restroom and he said ok let me finish up then. I ended up falling back asleep.

I woke up and could tell some time had passed because it was now hot in the car. I threw the blanket off me and I rubbed my eyes and looked around and saw my boyfriend and his brother and the girlfriend of their friend whose house they are renovating all standing around hanging out laughing. I took a few minutes to compose myself- wipe my eyes, put contact solution in, brush my hair, fix my face etc…

Out the window I can see they are all moving towards his brother’s car where there is a table set up on one side in the shade. They all sit down and his brother and the friend’s gf start taking out cigarettes to smoke and my bf is taking out his stash box to roll something for them to smoke. It’s not the smoking of green that bothers me, it’s the realization that he is not in hurry to take me home after I have already asked him twice.

Plus I know that I am now the damper on their little smoke party not because i don’t want them to smoke but because I have to use the restroom and it’s now getting to the point of urgency but I am going to look like the party pooper telling my bf that we have to leave right now when they are just about to wind down and smoke. I try and get his attention and he puts his hand up as in give him 5 minutes. This really upset me because I told him that I needed to use the restroom over two hours ago. So I got out from the car went around to the drivers side and got in and started the car. I saw him get up and start walking towards the car and roll the window down and tell him I’ll be back and drive off. He immediately starts calling me and telling me to come back and he needs his tools for work and I tell him from what I saw he was not in any sort of hurry so he doesn’t need his tools right now and he can wait until I come back. He gets upset and starts yelling and I hang up the phone and concentrate on driving.

He begins calling non stop and I don’t answer until I get home. I tell him that he knew I had to use the bathroom plus he knows I have health issues relating to my stomach and bladder and he completely dismissed me without any concern and he can wait just like how he made me wait and hang up. He sends me a text message saying I embarrassed him and that I didn’t let him know it was an emergency and I’m completely over reacting. I don’t respond.

I am in the restroom when I hear him pull up and start knocking on my door. I text him telling him I’m using the restroom and can’t come to the door. He tells me he needs his tools and I ask him if he’s heard back from his boss and he says that’s not the point and I respond then he doesn’t really need his tools right here right now or else he would have told me yes and that he has to go to work right now. I told him just wait until I’m done and then we can go back and hang out I will be much more comfortable. He says no and he wants his tools now and I made him upset to which I respond that he made me upset and he’s the one in the wrong for making me wait so long.

At this time his brother and the girlfriend of their friend are at my house and they are both texting me. His brother text me to please open my car so that they can get his tools. Then I get a text from their friend’s girlfriend saying “Girl it is not that serious you need to quit tripping. I am going to be around. I’m not going anywhere and whatever issues you and (my bf’s name) have need to be worked out and don’t bring that drama to the house.”

I was beyond livid. I unlocked my car with the key fab and I sent my bf a screenshot of the text message with another message from me saying WTF???!!! He didn’t respond. We didn’t talk or see each other until later the next day. When I brought it up he said he didn’t want to talk about it and told me “don’t drag it out I’m already over it.” Anytime I try to talk about what happened he tells me he doesn’t want to fight with me. I have not been back to that house since. So I’m asking two questions- AITAH for driving off and leaving him there?

How should I respond/ handle the friend’s girlfriend? I am not sure what to say, I want to tell her the reason I was upset has nothing to do with her but now that she inserted herself in my business I feel the need to check her. Should I message her back or talk to her in person, what’s the grown action to take?