So this happened last night. My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, and we were on a video call in the evening just chilling, joking around, telling each other about our days. Things were lighthearted and playful — we even started making faces at each other. At one point, she jokingly showed me her hand like she was going to slap me (still joking). I laughed and jokingly put up my hand too. It was all in fun — or so I thought.

She immediately hung up. A minute later, she texted saying I was a bad person. She told me I hurt her and that I don’t understand that girls should never be shown a hand — even jokingly — and that it was deeply disrespectful. I tried to explain that I was just playing along and laughing the whole time, but she said I should’ve known better. I ended up apologizing because it was clear she was hurt and I didn’t want to escalate it.

She was already feeling low emotionally, so I tried to lift her mood, and at some point, I asked her to go check what was for dinner. She said she wasn’t in the mood to eat. I gently pushed her a few times, saying skipping meals isn’t good for her health, and she might get hungry later. She kept refusing and told me to go eat instead. I hesitated because I didn’t want to come across as prioritizing food over her.

But then she said something that caught me off guard: "I already know food is your priority over me."

That hurt. A lot. I had already delayed my dinner by 3–4 hours just to be on call with her and try to make her feel better. After that comment, I just quietly went and peeled a cucumber, made a quick salad, and came back in under 5 minutes. That’s when she got really upset. She said I proved I didn’t care about her and kept repeating that I “chose cucumber over her.”

I tried explaining that what she said had hurt me, and I just needed a minute. I even said if she felt I was wrong, I’m sorry — let’s not blow this up. But she went into full meltdown mode, saying I was blaming her for my own choices, that I never put her first, and eventually told me to leave her alone. She went offline. I kept trying to call. No response.

She came back online after 20–30 minutes. I kept asking her to let the argument go, and she kept repeating that she isn’t a priority to me. While she kept texting me, I dozed off around 1 AM — phone literally fell out of my hand.

I woke up to over 20 long messages basically saying I don’t love her, I picked sleep and cucumber over her, and that she was right all along.

Now she’s gone off to work and I’m just… drained and sad. I feel like the situation spiraled out of control and I did my best to handle it with patience. But maybe I messed up? I don’t know anymore.

So… AITAH for eating the cucumber?