My native language is not english so there might be some mistakes!

I (21F) been in a relationship for over three years with Julie (22F). We have a healthy and awesome relationship. But over time, I’ve started to feel exhausted, like I’m carrying everything alone: the hard conversations, the emotional efforts and the future plans.

My girlfriend comes from a very traditional asian family that believes children should always be available. Weekends, for example, are sacred family time. Since the beginning, she’s had very little autonomy at home and has always been afraid to upset her parents, something that’s even worse since we’re an LGBT couple. Julie only had “the talk” with them about us after her dad accidentally found out. She stood up for us by saying she wouldn’t stop seeing me (which was progress) but it wasn’t something she really chose to do on her own.

I genuinely try to respect her timing. She says she’s “not ready” yet to take certain steps, like living on her own or being more independent, and to be fair, I’m not financially able to do that either right now. But what hurts the most is that, even though I can’t ask for it directly, I keep waiting for more. I keep trying to match my efforts to the emotional distance she sometimes puts between us.

She was sheltered from a lot growing up, and that sometimes shows in ways that hurt me. She feels torn between me and her family and seems to avoid choosing — but that, in itself, is already a choice. And more often than not, it’s not me.

I don’t want to be unfair. I know every small step she takes is a big deal within her reality. But I also have my limits. I often keep my feelings to myself so I don’t seem selfish. But it’s wearing me down. I feel like I always have to be the strong, patient, understanding one.

I find myself thinking about ending the relationship, not because of a lack of love, but out of exhaustion.
So, Reddit, AITA for feeling this way? For wanting more and feeling guilty about it? What should i do?