My (37m) wife (38f) were on the last day of a vacation stay at my parents house in Florida. We had golfed that morning, gone out on a boat the day before, and generally been playing hard for a week or so.

After we played golf, I took a nap and she played in the pool with our three kids. Later that evening around 7pm, we had dinner and she went and laid down, tired from playing all day.

She slept until about 9:30pm. We had to leave for the airport at 9am the next morning and hadn’t packed the first thing. I stared to pack our three bags, but stuff was scattered everywhere, I was having trouble getting stuff to fit as we tried to “pack lightly,” and I really just could’ve used her help as she had originally packed the bags and made it all work. Also, I’m responsible for making all vacation plans, travel, activity planning etc. She handles the packing.

I tried waking her up gently, no dice, she’s too tired from playing with kids. I insisted, she kept saying she’s too tired. After a few times of back and forth, I raised my voice and told her she needed to get up and help get our stuff together. She was mad that I napped earlier in the day and she didn’t and now was waking her up. Never did she say “let’s wake up early and do it” or “give me half an hour to wake up” or whatever, just “I’m too tired I played with the kids.” I was tired myself and just wanted this done, and told her it needed done no matter how tired she is. In my frustration, I raised my voice and did come down on her harder than I meant to, but I feel like she put me in a shitty position by flatly refusing to deal with it.

She’s been mad at me for two weeks. Am I the asshole?

Edit: Looks like I owe my wife an apology.

Edit 2: I guess I didn’t elaborate in the original post, but I handle literally all of the logistics when we go on vacation, I just tell her what time we’re leaving. All of the activities throughout the week, the hotel when we venture out, dinner, money, all that. Again, all she has to know is what time we’re heading out. Her job is the packing. That’s it. Also, I took a nap knowing we had to pack that evening. The kids are 8, 8, and 13. It’s not like they needed babysat, she was playing bc that’s what she wanted to be doing (which is great, but we had stuff to do). I’m sure I’m still the asshole, but thought I’d try a meager defense.