So I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for about a year now. We’re both pretty busy with work during the week, so Friday nights have kind of become our thing. We usually go out to dinner and catch a movie - nothing fancy, just something we look forward to together. A little tradition to decompress, connect, and just have fun.

Last week, a movie we were both really looking forward to was finally releasing. I bought the tickets in advance reserved seats at one of those nice theaters with reclining chairs. It wasn’t cheap either, about $40 for the two tickets, not counting what I’d budgeted for snacks. I texted her Friday morning around 9AM just to say good morning and got no response. Not weird by itself she sometimes sleeps in on days off.

But when I still hadn’t heard from her by 1PM, I sent another message just asking what time she wanted to meet and if she still wanted to grab dinner first. Still nothing.

Finally at 6:30PM (our movie was at 7:00), she messages me: “Babe I just woke up omg I’m so sorry I slept through everything.” I asked if everything was okay and why she slept so long. She said she’d stayed up late like all night because she was talking to AI-generated characters on a fanfiction site. Apparently she was “deep in a conversation” with a bot that roleplays as a character from a fantasy series she’s obsessed with, and they “just kept going.”

I didn’t really know how to respond to that. I was frustrated and just kind of stunned. She didn’t set an alarm. Didn’t think to message me before going to sleep. Didn’t wake up until after dinner time. At that point, there was no way we’d make the movie on time, and my tickets were non-refundable and couldn’t be exchanged because it was within 2 hours of the showtime.

So I told her calmly at first that I was really disappointed, especially since I’d spent money and was excited about the movie. She apologized, but kind of brushed it off like, “I didn’t mean to sleep that long,” and “It’s not like I was out partying or anything.” And that’s when I sort of snapped and said something along the lines of: “So you missed our night because you were up until dawn talking to make-believe characters that don’t even exist? That’s not just inconsiderate, that’s kind of pathetic.” Not proud of the last part, but I was genuinely hurt.

She got really quiet and then said I was being a jerk for mocking something she enjoys and that I was completely overreacting. She accused me of not understanding how much these stories mean to her and said it was just a one-time mistake.

Now it’s been a few days. We haven’t really talked much since. I feel like I had a right to be upset, but I also know what I said came off meaner than I intended. Still, I don’t know; am I overreacting for feeling so disrespected? Or did I cross a line by saying what I did?