Hi all. My elderly mother of sound mind has been lying to me for months and only admitted it the other day after I had actual photo proof. She still tried to deny but finally gave in and was truthful. The lie was about her relationship with a grandchild who has been verbally abusive to her in the past and who she said she would no longer allow to come around. Well she decided to renew the relationship with this gchild which is totally my mom’s choice and decision. She said she didn’t tell me to “save trouble.” I’m the eldest child who has been assisting my mom with all sorts of stuff and the one child in the fam who has never “caused trouble.” Apparently she felt that I would be upset that this relationship was renewed. Here’s the thing. It was obvious my mom wouldn’t stand her ground with this gchild and we all knew they’d be back in touch. Sure I would be annoyed but that would be the extent of it. I live states away etc. Instead she lied like not just didn’t tell me but went out of her way to makeup things to tell me to solidify that she didn’t have this relationship. Here’s the thing. My mom and I (I thought) were extremely close. I am so hurt by this. Not mad angry etc. just hurt that for months I’ve been made to be the fool. I’ve tried to explain it to my mom and she has used my being hurt to justify why she didn’t tell me because well in her mind it “caused trouble….” Tried to explain what upset me is the lying but she’s dug in and as always now she wants everyone to know she’s the victim here. AITAH for being hurt by this. I feel terrible for getting upset with her but hurt and I hate being disrespectful to parents but my whole life I’ve never expressed my feelings until lately and it’s like I’m not allowed but everyone else can.